Ummm….are you ever ready?
"Facing the music". I'm guessing that your initial reaction to this may not be exactly what I am writing about today.
Typically when you "face the music" you have made a mistake and now you have to fess up and make it right. Not usually a comfortable thing and necessary all the same.
This is not the case here. Facing the music here is about putting yourself out there and letting yourself be vulnerable and I'm talking wide open.
I am about to release my first book. There, I said it. Some of you may be aware of this and for others it is the first time you are reading about it. And let me tell you, I AM SCARED. Every possible alarm bell is going off in my head. It kind of feels like stepping in front of an audience with no clothes on and being okay with it. (Not that I have ever done that!) Putting myself out there like this feels vulnerable and it is. I've heard that you are supposed to "feel the fear and do it anyway". Who came up with that saying? When you read it it seems so easy and there is nothing easy about it at all!. Yet it is a given. I don't have to tell you. Anytime we are ready to do something that we haven't done before, the "holy s**t" factor kicks in.
I take a break and walk away from this post. My son comes home while I am taking my "break". I tell him that I feel like I am going to have a panic attack. I am experiencing fluttering in my chest and butterflies in my stomach and my voice is quivering. I can see the concern cross over his face and then he asks why. I tell him I am scared. I am putting myself out there and it feels scary. He looks a little relieved and then tells me "that's not scary, that's exciting". Boom. I stop in my tracks, nice reframe. Feeling scared or anxious to do something actually feels physiologically the same as excitement. The fluttering heart and butterflies in the stomach that I get when I am nervous is the same feeling as when I am excited for something. I relax. I've got this.
I look across the table and start to smile - Courage Over Fear. Mindset as a Choice. Trust Yourself. These are my words. The sections of my book. Putting them in action is far more challenging than writing them down, that's for sure. And I know that I've got this. I know that by putting myself out there I am setting myself up for the inevitable feedback and criticism - that's what I mean by facing the music - opening myself up so that people will be allowed to have an opinion.
I give my head a shake. This IS who I am. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Pretty much how I roll and I have to remind myself, yes, this IS how you roll and you know it isn't easy but that is who you are. A badass trailblazer and being a badass does not mean you don't feel fear and vulnerability. It just means you allow the feelings, acknowledge them and then do it anyway. No regrets. Because I didn't come here to play it safe. I came here to live. One life. One kick at the can.
