Do you have it all figured out? I hope not...

Do you have it all figured out?

I hope not...because it's the figuring out that gives purpose and meaning...the struggle and striving that drives you forward. It's not the final result. Yes, there's immense satisfaction and it deserves savouring and celebration but when someone is asked about that "thing" chances are high that they're going to tell you a story about all of the obstacles that they managed to overcome to achieve that thing. The figuring it out part.

You're not meant to have it all figured out.

What about those people who seem to have it all figured out? Let's be clear...they don't. No one does. Trust that they're trying to figure something out too. 

Not all things you have to figure out are going to be things you expect or want.They could be frustrating, make you angry, or incredibly sad...life's going to throw you a curve ball every now and then. Yet, every single one of them has a message embedded in it for you, something to help you grow. It's about taking the time to figure it out, learn the lesson, and move forward.

That's why it's called growth.

If there's something you're trying to figure out right now and you wish it was just done, this may be the time to take a pause and ask yourself, "what am I supposed to be learning right now"? You may very well find that the answer to this question helps you find the solution to figuring that thing out.

Allow your curiosity to lead the way.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think of a current situation where you're trying to figure something out but drawing a blank. Often, a useful way to figure something out is to reflect back on a previous experience that you figured out and to draw on that experience.

As you reflect back on that previous situation, consider these questions:

• How did you approach that challenge?
  

  • Sometimes the eureka moment comes when you're about to give up.

  • Try stepping back to just before you figured it out to pick up some useful information.

• What showed up in you?
  

  • What skills, strengths or capabilities did you notice you have that you didn't realize you had? Those things.

  • How could these apply to your current situation?

• What did you learn about you?
  

  • Maybe it was something that you wanted to work on...a new skill you wanted to develop.

  • Or, maybe you recognized a pattern of behaviour that you wanted to address. 

How does remembering a previous situation help you with figuring out this situation? There's definitely information  there for you if you look closely.

What if you looked at figuring this out as a puzzle where you have all of the pieces, you just have to take the time to put them together. You've figured things out before...you can do it again!

Need some help figuring it out? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

What if you "just did it"?

You know what I love about Nike's tagline..."Just do it"?

The simplicity and lack of ambiguity. There's no hesitation there. The concept of "just doing it" opens up so many possibilities and can close down so many behaviours that stop you from "doing it"!

What can it stop?

• Procrastination.

• Overthinking.

• Self-doubt.

If you act quickly...it shuts down that part of your brain that likes to tell you why you can't do something and allows your prefrontal cortex to kick in.It has to be quick.That's the point. "Just do it!"

What does it open up?

• The willingness to take a leap...the nudge to jump and trust that the net's going to be there. 

• That sense of bubbling in your stomach or wherever it is for you when you feel excitement and then  the elation of "Whoa... I just did that!" Those opportunities.

...and it doesn't have to be massive. That's the thing we tend to forget...it's often the smallest of steps that can interrupt the pattern of overthinking, procrastination and self-doubt long enough to get started. And that's where momentum comes from. Taking the first shaky step and succeeding.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Get honest with yourself.

• What's something that's been floating around that you've been thinking about, thinking about and thinking about some more? 

• What if today was the day that you decided you were gonna take the "Nike" approach? You're gonna just do it. Take a bite sized piece of that thing and get going.

Here's a reminder: The time's going to pass whether you do something or not…that’s just how it works. When you look back, do you really want to be thinking - Oh I wish I'd done that thing? 

No one's immune to overthinking, procrastination and self-doubt from time to time. Try not to linger there.

Remember:

You don't have to have the whole plan laid out. Take the first step and allow the next one to show up.

What's that famous quote by Lao Tzu? “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

There's a reason it's famous...because it's true.

So what one step are you going to commit to today? "Just do it!"

Ready to take your first step? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

What if you “just did it?”

Trusting the process is easy...

Trusting the process is easy when it's going well, isn't it?

Smooth sailing, everything's working out the way you planned or maybe even better than you imagined.

Then the rug gets pulled out from under you. You get side-swiped, blindsided, and all of a sudden...the process isn't as fun or as easy as it was.

What do you do now?

Get some perspective.

Remember that every day you get to:

• Complain or be grateful.

• Blame others or take responsibility.

• Feed your fears or feed your dreams

• Give up or keep trying.

• Think of the worst or think of the best.

Resilience. Optimism. Hope.

Think about the end game...where you're heading. Is it worth this blip?

Allow yourself to take a moment to reflect: How will this lead you to your next step? Because it will if you keep going.

Sometimes a trip up is exactly what you need to take a moment...check-in on where you're at and decide...do you stay the course or do you change the course? It's a reminder that yes, where you're heading is where you want to go...but are you pursuing it in the most effective way?

Think of this blip as a "weigh station" where you get a chance to decide how you want to proceed. Often when you stumble over something...you actually stumble over something  - a new idea or insight that's way more useful than what you were planning on doing.

So yes, trust the process. All of it.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
Think of something right now that you're working through where you've set up a plan, but it doesn't seem to be working out. Consider this an opportunity to check-in. Maybe this is your blip, so to speak...to get you to rethink how you're approaching that thing... your "weigh station".

Ask yourself these questions:

• What is this experience trying to teach me?

• What lesson do I need to learn before I can move forward?

• Is this an opportunity to change direction...to modify my map?

• Or is this just a moment to take a break, reflect, and then get back to it?

This doesn't have to be complicated...because if you still want that thing, you can amend the process. Remember, there's more than one way to get there.

Ready to take your next step? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Trusting the process is easy…when it’s going your way.

Do you really know yourself?

Do you know yourself? Think again...

Most of us walk around thinking just that...I know myself. Who I am. My impact on others and the world.

Do you?

In order to know yourself, you need other people. Other people to show you the blind spots you have and, before you jump to conclusions...I'm referring to the good ones. The skills, strengths or capabilities you have that you can't see...or the way you light up a room and leave people feeling seen and heard. Those things.

And, in order to fully appreciate who you are, the impact you're having, you also need to see the things that may be limiting you...at work, in relationships, in situations. It matters if you care about being the person you think you are.

What can you do?

Get. A. Coach!

What are some of the benefits for you?

Clarity.

There's nothing like an unbiased party whose only job is to help you get clarity. On what? That thing you've been wanting or trying to nail and you're not quite there. Even if you don't know what it is yet, you will discover it...guaranteed. 
 
Perspective.

In order to know ourselves, we need others. Coaches provide an unbiased perspective. We help you uncover blind spots, recognize patterns of behaviour, and develop a deeper understanding of yourself. We hear you, without an agenda other than to let you hear yourself. Or, often, we let you know the themes that are coming up for you so you can explore them. This awareness is crucial if you truly want to make meaningful changes. 
 
 
Increased Confidence and Resilience.

Working with a coach empowers you to tackle challenges with a positive mindset and develop resilience when faced with setbacks. This can help you build confidence in your abilities and cultivate a more proactive approach to overcoming obstacles.
 
 
Support.

A coach provides a supportive environment where you feel encouraged and motivated...but don't interpret that as rah rah rah...yes we'll celebrate your wins, help you navigate setbacks, and ensure you stay resilient during challenging times...and also provoke you to think differently by challenging your mindset, your default settings so to speak.
 
Important Reminder.

Your truth tellers aren't always your friends and your friends aren't always your truth tellers. You need both. If you're serious about showing up without leaving a trail of breadcrumbs no one wants to follow, then perhaps it's time to invest in yourself.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
Before you hire me or any other coach, here are three prerequisites for a successful engagement:

• You're ready.

  • It's your idea, not someone else's plan for you.

• You're willing.

  • Coaching isn't all puppies and rainbows...you have to be ready to bump up against some challenges.

• We're a fit.

  • I can't reiterate this one enough. There are 1000's of coaches out there with the experience, credentials etc. but...if the chemistry isn't there...

Want to see if we're a fit? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Do you really know yourself?

Can I tell you a secret?

Can I tell you a secret? I was stuck...really stuck.

I was struggling with my own goals this year until I came to a realization...there's some advice I could be taking...

Ever feel that way? You know what you "should" be doing and yet...you're not. Ugh.

What did I do? I started practicing what I preach, looking at what I put out in my blogs, reading my own book* and taking my own advice because...you know what they say "Do as I say...not as I do!" Guilty as charged.

And that's when everything changed. I moved from not really knowing what I wanted, not being specific enough, to being able to visualize it as clearly as I needed to, to make it a reality.

What was in my way?

I made the same mistakes that a lot of people make, thinking I had to have everything figured out, every detail, and that the right time was just gonna pop-up...all of this is untrue.

I was forcing things rather than letting them come to me.

This goal feels different so I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to have it all figured out...hence the struggle. You'd think I'd know better!

So what changed?

• I let go of expectations and surrendered. Put it on the back burner.

• Kept my intention but had no plan.

Then the first step showed up. Clarity. Hallelujah! I took some action. Executed the first step.

That's where I am right now...

Figuring out what I want, not overthinking it...allowing one step to come and taking it. Keeping my intention in mind and knowing that I will achieve it, one step at a time.

Why am I telling you this? I get you. We're all human and things don't always come easily...

How are you doing right now? Are you feeling stuck or struggling? Looking for some clarity? You're not alone.

What if you put it on the back burner for a little while? Go do other things and just allow an idea to come, it can be the tiniest thing. Don't overcomplicate it...take action and expect more to come.

What I've learned is that when I take a step back and let something go and focus on other things...that's when the idea pops. Letting go of any expectations and allowing the inspiration to come when the time feels right.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Let go of that thing that you're grasping onto and to allow yourself to walk away from it for a while. Take a breather but hold onto your intention.

Remember:

• The "right" time doesn't exist.

  • You'll always find an excuse...start before you feel ready.

• Your plan doesn't need to have every step outlined.

  • Focus less on having all the steps worked out and take the first one...the others will follow.

• Get some help.

  • Read a book*...hire a coach.

  • You don’t have to navigate things alone.

Gripping onto something and forcing rarely works. Stepping away and taking a breather almost always does. Give it a try...

Looking for some clarity?  Contact me Confident people know that two heads are always better than one.

Cheers,

Ann

• “You’re Stuck…Now What?” available on Amazon

Can I tell you a secret?

I don't usually do this ...

But I'm on a roll...

Really exploring this whole January thing.

• Setting goals.

• Or the idea that if you don't have a goal...there's something wrong with you.

• If you do have a goal...where's the influence coming from for that goal? Inside you? Outside pressure or opinions?

• What's motivating you to set that goal?

Whether you have a goal, an intention, or nothing at all...here are some tips to increase your odds of success.

• Make sure that it's something you want.

  • Sounds obvious and a couple of sneaky things can happen here:

    • You're doing it for someone else. They want you to be fit, change a behaviour, or get a new job.

    • Or, very common...setting a goal that has you running away from something rather than towards something.

    • Frame your goals to point towards what you want, not what you want to avoid.

    • Oh...and be specific. You should be able to picture it in great detail and know how it will feel too.  

• Believe it's possible.
  

  • Remember Henry Ford? "Whether you think you can or think you can't...you're right."

  • Believe that it's possible. That in and of itself will up the chances of you achieving it...instantly…because your brain will naturally start to look for opportunities to make it happen...it's built that way.

• Consider the "costs" of your goal.

  • This part of goal setting often gets missed, understanding what pursuing that goal is going to "cost" you.

    • Time. 

      • How much time will pursuing that goal take away from other things that you want to do?

    • Energy.

      • Energy is similar to time...learning new skills is going to consume more of your brain power and leave less for other things.

    • Tangible costs.

      • Maybe you're paying for a course, buying equipment or paying a membership.

    • Willpower.

      • Willpower...is a limited resource.  When you're focusing on doing something new you'll have less willpower to do other things...it's a trade off.

Once you've considered all of this then...

•  Make a plan.

  • Take a path when it makes sense. Following in the footsteps of someone who has done what you want to do can be really helpful. Why reinvent the wheel?

  • And... know when to step off and make your own path. 

  • Understand that you are unique and your version of that goal is going to have your fingerprint on it.  Resist the very human urge to compare yourself, your progression, to someone else.  They're not you!!

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
Pick one goal or intention you’ve been considering and give it a test drive. 

• Is it something you want?

• Is it specific enough?

• Do you believe it's possible?

• Is it worth the costs?

If you can tick those boxes then go ahead...make a plan and take that first step.

Need some help?

If you're ready to show up in 2025 as your most powerful self, it's time for us to talk  Contact me

Cheers,

Ann

I don’t usually do this…

Ready for a different spin on goals?

Happy New Year! 

It's early days. Before you finalize your goals here's some perspective for you to frame them with.

It's important to have tangible goals or what I prefer, "intentions" ...they can provide purpose and meaning for you...and...there are some "intangible" things that also matter. They're more a way of approaching your world, a way of being in this incredibly "doing/busy" world we live in.

Here are some thoughts for you to ponder...

What if you:

• Be the first to smile.

• Say hello.

• Hold the door.

• Talk less. Listen more.

• Instead of making assumptions...be more understanding. 

• Rather than taking things personally...know that it's not about you.

• Instead of criticizing the faults, look for the good. 

• Instead of running away from what you don't want, find something you want and run towards it. 

• Believe in your dreams. It starts with you.

• Take action...send the text, make the call.... Hesitation and overthinking lead to regret.

• Put a date in the calendar..."sometime" doesn't exist.

• Listen to other people's input, then make your own decision. 

• Recognize that the most important job you have is to take care of you...take it seriously. 

• Move beyond thinking about it. That's where it starts...and thinking about it doesn't get it done.

• Recognize that you're making choices all of the time. Even if you do nothing.

• Go after that vision you have for yourself. There are always going to be plenty of naysayers who don't see your vision. Don't you be one of them!

Decide how you want to show up, regardless of the "goal"...how do you want to be?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
As you firm up your goals and intentions, take a look at the list above. Notice which ones resonate for you and perhaps add a few of your own. Let this inform your goals for 2025.

Decide how you want to show up, regardless of the "goal"...how do you want to be?

If you're ready to show up in 2025 as your most powerful self, it's time for us to talk  Contact me

Cheers,

Ann

Ready for a different spin on goals?

Before you get ahead of yourself...do this!

Whoa! 

The ending of a year with a bright and shiny new one on the horizon can be tantalizing for sure, but before you get ahead of yourself...

Here are a few suggestions...

Use the past as a reference point:

The past can definitely be a good reference point, however, if you're reliving the past all the time, especially those moments where maybe you're thinking someone did you wrong or, you didn't get what you wanted or, any other version of this…here's what you're doing:

• You're sabotaging your happiness! Work with a therapist or a coach (depending on what you need to work on). Do something!

• You can't change the past...however, you can change the meaning you've attached to it!  By reframing the meaning you attach to situations or people, you will see things change for you...in a good way.

Let the future inspire you:

• It's great to have a beacon out there that you're aiming for. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and  by getting caught up in what's ahead, you're missing what's going on right now...the only thing that exists.

Ask yourself, all things considered:

• How do you want to move forward into 2025?

Need some help? Here’s a part of my “year end” process to get you more clear.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next couple of days…

Take some time to explore these questions …you're definitely going to want to grab a piece of paper and something to write with...

• What am I ready to leave behind?

  • What better time than the end of a year to ask yourself this question? You carry so many things with you year over year, maybe it's time to leave behind the things that are keeping you stuck, or holding you back. Perhaps it's a relationship you've outgrown, a habit or feeling that you’re done with, an attitude, or even a tangible "thing"?

• What do I want to keep?

  • While setting new goals is always exciting, it's important to remember some of the stuff that you already have that's pretty great. Stuff you want to keep. Relationships, health, friendships, work, useful practices that you do etc.

• What do I want to add or have more of in 2025?

  • While "adding" always sounds good, you may already have some things in your life that you just want more of - family and friend time, me time...you get the idea here.

• What have I put on hold?

  • There’s no perfect time to do that thing you want to do. What if you considered taking one step towards it now?The time's going to pass anyway.

• What have I discovered about myself this year?

  • Every year brings an opportunity for growth.

  • Spend some time pondering "what did I discover about myself"?
    
    

Now take a moment. Breathe. Notice what you're feeling right now. Maybe you feel proud when you see how the year unfolded. Maybe you've found a gap that you'd like to address. There's no right or wrong here.

No matter what surfaced for you, you now have some information you didn’t have before. You get to decide whether you do something with it or not. Something for you to mull over in the coming days. That's the point - to get you thinking.

Sending warmest wishes to you for 2025.

Ann

Before you get ahead of yourself…do this!

Are you a stinking thinker?

Probably sometimes.

Stinking thinking is when you let the voices in your head take over and tell you lies, or maybe things that were once true, but certainly aren't now. Not a formal definition but you get the picture. Those voices are often driven by shame, embarrassment or the stories that you've told yourself for so long that they feel like the truth. All stuff that we typically keep to ourselves and that's the problem...keeping it to yourself.

These are the very things that isolate you, make you think that "you're the only one" which isn't true at all.That's what shame, embarrassment and lies do...they keep you quiet. They can erode your sense of worthiness, whether it's the promotion you want, the relationship, the lifestyle...all of those things.

Because of our propensity to lean towards the negative, those voices can drown out all of the other truths that exist that are empowering and affirming.

It took me years, and I mean years, to finally grab the bull by the horns and sort my own shit out. Do I wish I'd done it sooner? Maybe, but I believe everything happens at exactly the right time.

Is now the right time for you?

A lot of my clients are stinking thinkers too. I see you. The thing is...once you give your stinking thinking  a voice, you'll be able to hear that it's a liar.  Perspective. The things you've been telling yourself are what keep you small. They hold you hostage.

Is 2025 the year to call them out?

I see you hanging out, thinking about reaching out and waiting. I get it. Like I said...it took me years to feel safe enough to find someone to work on my shit with. I get you. What I also learned is that waiting robs you of your potential and I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. You have all the skills, strengths and capabilities you need to be doing the things you want to do. That's a given.

The problem?

Probably 98% of the time, the problem is, the story you've telling yourself has become the truth for you and you can't see your potential. Chances are good that these stories have lead you to believe that "this is as good as it gets". It's not. There are other possibilities for you. I promise you. You may not be able to see your potential...but I can.

We're very close to the end of  2024. As you reflect on this year, which is a really good thing to do, I want you to notice:

• How are you holding yourself back?

• What behaviours are you doing, or not doing, that are stopping you from achieving the things you want to achieve?

• Be brutally honest with yourself.

I want you to know I'm here and waiting for you with an open heart. Yeah, I can be provocative and feisty and I'm also really compassionate and kind...always keeping your best interests at heart. I don't want you to miss out on all the possibilities there are for you because you're still believing that story.

As I close off for the year, I want to take a moment now to acknowledge you. Many of you have been reading this blog for years. Thank you for being here for the ride.

I invite you to reach out. Yeah, let's chat. It's been a minute. I'd love to hear from you.

Wishing you all the best as you celebrate Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, or simply enjoy the love and joy of this time of year. 


Warmly,
Ann

Are you a ‘stinking thinker’? Probably sometimes…

How can we be here already?

How can we be here already? It's unbelievable that we're a couple weeks away from finishing yet another year.

There's a pretty good chance that you're getting bombarded everywhere you turn. About what? Your achievements. Whether you made the mark you set for yourself or often, the mark that was set for you. 

The messaging is loud and clear...if you're not doing this, or haven't done that, then what the heck are you doing?

It's tiring and it comes at the time of year where comparison is at an all time high. People are going to start sharing all the amazing things they did this year. And quite frankly, if all you did was get through this year and you're still on this planet, congratulations, that might be just enough for you.

It's been a year. That really sums it up for me. With some incredible lows, and some incredible highs... life.

I'm a firm believer in reflection. Personal reflection, not personal comparison, which is completely counterproductive. On the day of reckoning there's not going to be a list of people that they're going to pull up and compare you to, nope, it's all about you. You are your benchmark.

What kind of year did you have? What are you hoping to get done in the next couple weeks that feels important to you? Personally...not what other people think you should do, rather something you sincerely want. That stuff.

It could mean you want some solitude.  A chance to read that trashy novel that you never make time for, a nice dinner with a good friend. Things that don't always make it to the priority list when really, they probably should make an appearance there. The things that truly matter in the long run.

This can be a really tough time of year. Please be gentle with yourself. Finish off the year as best you can. And if that means you're hitting a home run congratulations. If that means you're gonna hang out in your pajamas and just be glad to be around, congratulations to you too. There are no rules.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here's a suggestion for you...

For the duration of the holidays - How about you put all of your "to do's' on the back burner? They'll be there waiting for you.

Set a boundary. Do something different. Open up your perspective. It's only for a brief time. Let this be your gift to you.

The interesting thing is that when you go to retrieve your "to do's" you may notice that they've shifted. Perhaps some are less important or maybe not important at all. You may notice that new ones,  more meaningful ones, have taken their place.  Time can do that.

Will you do it?  Come on...I dare you!

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Cheers,

Ann

How can we be here already?