Come again?
It's so easy to get caught up in what you don't want. We tend to be very clear about the things we don't want, or want to avoid. We give all of our energy and attention to this, and forget to place our attention on what we do want. Knowing what you don't want is useful information. What can happen, however, is that you can spend so much time and attention focussing on what you don't want, that you overlook thinking about what you actually do want.
I recently had a conversation with a client who was adamant about a situation they wanted to avoid. It was occupying so much of their thoughts that they were actually losing sleep over it. When I shifted the conversation to figuring out what they wanted instead...click...the lightbulb went on. Rather than losing sleep about what they wanted to avoid, they became energized about the thing that they actually wanted. Clarity. Last time I checked in with them they were not only well on their way towards getting what they wanted, they said they were pausing in other situations to check in. They would stop and ask themselves the question I am asking you: "What do you want more than what you don't want"? Powerful.
This is most definitely the first step in getting what you want. Identifying it. Sounds simple doesn't it?
Let's get to it...
Are you willing to try this out?
Your challenge for the next week...
Notice your inner (and maybe outer too!) dialogue. I want you to notice and catch yourself when you're giving attention to the things that you don't want. It could be as simple as, "I don't want my tea to get cold". Whenever you find yourself going down that path:
Pause
Take a moment to take a breath.
Then, ask yourself: What do I WANT instead?
In the tea example? It could be: I want to finish my hot tea before I move onto something else.
It doesn't have to be complicated, you're working on changing a pattern of behaviour. Be kind to yourself. Practice.
Start there. Notice what happens.
One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal. Contact me Let's get you moving towards what you want!
Stay safe and well.
Cheers,
Ann