It’s a lie…
Have you heard the myth? Apparently, once you reach a certain level of accomplishment, you will never again experience a lack of self-confidence...
I’m going to take you back to when I first started my coaching business. I was beta testing my business card ideas with a group of people from various business backgrounds. I still remember laying all of the cards out and asking for input, wondering what would resonate for this group.
One of the cards had my title as “Confidence Coach”. Very quickly, and in no uncertain terms, one of the male participants said “there’s no way I would ever work with you if that was on your business card”. I was curious, so obviously I asked him why. His response was along the lines of “I wouldn’t want anyone to think I didn’t have confidence”. Notice he wasn’t saying that it wasn’t true, just that he wouldn’t want others to think that he didn't have confidence.
That card got kyboshed, however, if you happen to have one of my business cards you will see that the tagline is: Get Clear. Get Confident. Get Going.
Why am I writing about this?
Six and a half years ago it was true, and it’s still true today. Few clients will approach me and say that they want more confidence, yet, it almost always comes up, eventually.
Most recently I was having a conversation with an executive level person. They described to me how they got their role, the leadership style they were growing and some of the challenges they were facing. They were nothing short of impressive.
As we were moving towards the end of our conversation, I was explaining a little bit about my coaching style and what clients typically hire me for. I explained that sometimes clients were looking for confidence to walk into that meeting, or situation, and that my work was to prepare them for that situation: To get them in their best performance state, so they could achieve the results they desired.
They stopped me in my tracks. “You mean I’m not the only one?” Their response was: first, surprise, quickly followed by relief. I laughed and said “absolutely not"! Yet this is the myth that everyone likes to pretend is true. The myth that: Apparently, once you reach a certain level of accomplishment, you will never again experience a lack of self-confidence...
I might challenge that it comes up more. The expectations that high performers put on themselves to know it all, and have all the answers, is the perfect recipe for a dip in confidence.
Almost everyone I’ve encountered, client or not- feels a lack of self-confidence from time to time. Some just hide it better than others.
I help people who have forgotten what it feels like to be confident, to remember what it was like, and carry that forward into situations they are managing now. And you know what? It works!
Let's get to it...
Are you willing to try this out?
Your challenge for the next week...
When the self doubt starts creeping in, regardless of the situation:
Stop.
Take a breath.
Ask yourself to remember a time when you were confident. It doesn't have to be a "big" thing, maybe you knew you were going to be able to open the pickle jar on your first try. Keep it simple.
Then track through what that actually felt like in your body. Maybe your posture changes or your breath deepens. Just notice what it felt like.
Remember: You know how to "do" confidence. Sometimes, you just need a little reminder.
Noticing that you're feeling a little unsure or your confidence has taken a holiday? Contact me One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.
Stay safe and well.
Cheers,
Ann