Let’s explore…
Last week I sent out a blog post about “the confidence myth” and the response was unprecedented. Clearly, the message struck a chord and I thought perhaps we could explore this thing called confidence a little more.
Come with me.
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary https://www.merriam-webster.com/, here are some of the definitions of “confidence”:
a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true
stresses faith in oneself and one's powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance
…and the list goes on.
My point? There are a couple actually! First, I want to call your attention to the fact that the word "feeling" is part of the definition of confidence. Second, there's no catch all definition of confidence for everyone.
There isn’t a particular recipe to follow for everyone. BUT, there IS a particular recipe for YOU! That’s good news!
What it means to me, versus what it means to you, will vary: depending on the particular situation, and, our own personal experiences.
Think about it: No two people are exactly alike, and so their experience of the very same situation will be different.
Has this ever happened to you?
You and another person, often someone close to you, are telling someone else about a shared experience you had. As you listen to your partner you may, in your head (but usually out loud!), start to add in the details you think they are missing, or dispute the details they have provided. The thing is, both of you are correct. Yikes. This is true. We put our own lens on an experience and takeaway what resonates for us. This can also change over time, each time we re-visit the story, we may find another detail to notice.
Confidence is similar. It's as individual as the person experiencing it. It's not one particular state, rather, it may be a blend of several that result in confidence. It will vary for a particular situation. My recipe and yours are inevitably going to be different and, they will be different depending on the circumstance.
Let's get to it...
Are you willing to try this out?
Your challenge for the next week...
Let's play! Think of a situation where you want to be confident. Keep it simple, you're practicing.
Remember a time you succeeded at something - let that thing bubble up now. As you do, track though your body to notice any physical sensations - remembering the definition of confident, and that "feeling", is a part of it.
Now, remember a time you were certain and again, notice what shows up in your body, perhaps there's a change in your breath or posture.
Finally, remember a time when you had faith in yourself.
Now think about that situation where you want to be confident and notice - what's different now?
I guarantee you that no two people reading this and doing this exercise came up with the same things. Your "confidence recipe" is unique to you and your particular circumstances, AND it will vary depending upon the situation you are in.
Want to explore your "confidence recipe" for a particular situation? Contact me One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.
Stay safe and well.
Cheers,
Ann