What's the problem with talking about your problems?
Oh do you love talking about your problems!! Why? Firstly? You're human, and, sometimes, it's more dramatic and interesting to stay there, then to do something about it. This is exactly what keeps you stuck in the problem.
When you focus on the problem, you're still in the problem, and that's not a very useful place to be if you're actually interested in solving it.
When you're in a situation where you have a dilemma, the last thing you need to do is sit with someone else who's gonna help you dig deeper into the issue -you already know what it is, that's been established. What you might need most, is to step away for a while, to sit somewhere else, to start thinking about solutions. Because you can't solve a problem from within a problem.
Acknowledging your situation matters, but don't unpack your bags and set up camp there! There's a solution, and having a sounding board, rather than a commiserating committee is going to be a more productive use of your time.
I recently had a conversation with a musician/songwriter and what he said really struck a chord (that pun was not intended!) with me. When he's stuck on the lyrics for a song he's writing (the dilemma) he will often go outside for a walk. The interesting thing? He said every single time, bar none, he comes up with a lyric that was the right one for his particular song. An example of where walking away from your problem may help provide the solution to it! When you're moving forward physically, your brain can't help but move forward as well.
Let's get to it...
Your challenge for the next week...
Think about a problem you're dealing with right now:
Staying in the problem is not where you're gonna find the solutions.
Remember a time in the past when you had a similar problem and you were able to solve it. This is a great way to tap into some skills, strengths or capabilities that you used in the past to solve a problem that may be useful in this current situation. Even if it's an entirely different situation, there may be some information there that enlightens you.
You need to find the benefit of staying in the problem.
Sounds weird, however there's often an underlying benefit to staying in it. Maybe it's the safety of staying with the known versus exploring the unknown. Much like any habit that you continue to do that you don't like, you're getting some kind of benefit out of it. Don't judge it, get curious here.
Your problem is a problem, however, there are glimpses of times when it's not.
Maybe you got distracted and forgot about it for a moment? Try to focus on those glimpses, those moments when things are going well, and notice: What is it about those moments that makes them go well? What can you tap into that's working for you? Focus on that. If you take the time to focus on when things are going well, you're more likely to start getting the clues to solve your problem.
Are you ready to start looking for solutions? Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Stay safe and well.
Cheers,
Ann
You love your problems….I know…