Imagine this: You're in a meeting, checking on references for someone you're considering hiring. You ask a question and the person in front of you slightly furrows one eyebrow. It's so slight that if you weren't paying attention, you might have missed it. But you didn't and the response you have is visceral.
What do you do?
True story. What did I do? I inwardly scolded myself, thinking there must be something wrong with me, and continued with the interview. Suffice it to say I "unknowingly" signed up for a roller coaster ride that ended up with a resignation and a whole lot of learning.
Fast forward many years... What would I have done then if I knew what I know now? I would have paused and asked for more information. Tell me more...
That's what self-doubt can do. It causes you to doubt your instincts, the feeling that you get in your heart or gut that you can't explain so you push it down. You doubt it and ultimately, yourself.
Why does self-doubt feel so icky?
Probably because the one person you should be able to trust is yourself. Read that again.
How does self-doubt show up?
Often as fear.
Fear of what? Being ostracized from your tribe. Whether it's your family, friends, work colleagues, or any other "tribe" you may be a part of, separation from your tribe can feel scary. It's years of biology and also years of behaving as if your body is holding up your head and has no other useful information. So you quickly learn that those feelings you may get are not to be trusted until you eventually, stop feeling them at all.
Now THAT'S scary.
So what are you to do? How do you get self-doubt out of the driver’s seat and hand confidence the wheel?
Let’s get to it…
Your challenge…
Get in the habit of noticing when you're doubting yourself. That's step one. When you find yourself doubting yourself, no matter what the situation may be:
Acknowledge it, then ask yourself:
What fear is getting in my way?
Know that fear is typically at the root of self-doubt. Fear of rejection, getting it wrong, disappointing someone or yourself. Pay attention.
Am I comparing my insides with someone else's outside?
Think about it. Everyone feels self-doubt at some time, some hide it better than others so don't assume that you're the only one!
What do I feel is really the right thing to do/say or be?
Tune in to your body. Know that the answer might not come up the first time you ask it and, it's a question well worth asking as a practice.
You have so much intelligence in your heart and gut. The problem is that you may not even realize it, that's what continued self-doubt does. The good news? When you start to pay attention, those nudges will get louder...that's where the gold is. Learning to trust them and be willing to let them guide you.
Self-doubt will start to diminish when you start to pause and listen to the actual feelings you get in your body. When you take time to listen to yourself, and your inner wisdom, you're going to notice a change in how you feel about yourself and your confidence will grow.
If you're ready to start growing your confidence Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Warmly,
Ann
Why does self-doubt feel so icky?