More than you think.
How's your inner dialogue? What do you focus on? The negative or the positive? Apparently, it's in our DNA to go to a negative bias first - in order for our ancestors to survive they had to imagine the worst-case scenario all of the time. This is what kept them alive. There's not too much out there that you have to worry about when it comes to survival these days. Unfortunately, our brains have not evolved to match our reality.
So what are you supposed to do, especially when you're working on building your confidence? Probably the first place to check in with is inside your own head. Yep, your own inner dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? Like a good and trusted friend who loves you, or your worst critic? Even your critics can acknowledge your strengths...
What about those voices (don't tell me you only have one!) in your head? Maybe check in and listen. Everyone has a team up in their head. I particularly like the term I've heard "itty bitty shitty committee"...it's funny and yet so true, those voices can be pretty distracting and disruptive. They often like to tell you stories that quite simply, aren't true. Liars and yet they can sound quite convincing at times.
Your inner dialogue is going to be projected everywhere. Think about that. You may think it's only in your head, but the way you think spills into everything you do. It's inevitable.
The things you say to yourself may have been useful once upon a time - ask yourself now. Are they still true?
What you focus on grows...
So how can you change that dialogue when it's not working for you?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
When your self-talk is not optimal, start with a pause, take a breath, and then consider the following:
Use positive and affirming language when talking to yourself.
Noticing that it's not positive? That's the first step. Notice.
Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones.
This doesn't mean everything is puppies and sunshine, it means checking in with your default and being curious about it.
Acknowledge and accept your emotions, rather than criticizing yourself for having them.
You are human after all. All humans are emotional beings. Some just hide it better than others.
Challenge negative self-talk by asking for proof.
When it comes up, ask yourself: Is this really true?
Surround yourself with reminders of your strengths and successes.
Maybe have a screen saver on your phone that reminds you of your strengths.
Self-love starts with how you speak to yourself. As you practice more positive self-talk, your outside world will follow suit. You will start to notice a change in how you feel about yourself and your confidence will grow.
Like starting any new practice - it's going to take time, baby steps.
When you're ready to change your inner dialogue Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Warmly,
Ann
What’s love got to do with growing your confidence?