Is it time for you to check in?
Hanging out in places and spaces where you're pretending to be something you're not in order to fit in...is effort.
Sometimes you have to put on "the mask". I guess it's part of the whole thing that we sometimes have to do to fit in. This should be the exception, not the rule. Like the 80/20 rule. You should be able to be yourself the majority of the time.
And if this isn't the case?
Ask yourself, how does it feel when I have to put on a mask?
For me? It feels awkward. Being inauthentic feels like I'm hiding.
I'm not gonna lie. It's never sat well with me. I have a vivid memory of partnering with someone in my past and we were like oil and vinegar in terms of our approach. Me wanting to be me...and they wanting me to be them! They thought I should be more serious because apparently that's more professional...I don't know, maybe it is but that's not being me. Real. Authentic.
It took a lot of effort to wear that mask, that's for sure! And I did it because I thought I had to fit in.
I know better now.
I'm gonna bet that every one of you reading this can relate in some way. Maybe for you it's not at work. It could be in an extracurricular activity, a family setting, or maybe for you it's something else entirely. Round peg...square hole but you keep trying to squeeze in anyway. Ugh.
The messages that you take in that tell you that being yourself is not acceptable. Being yourself doesn't fit in with the typical way "you're supposed to be."
I want to argue that. Being yourself can be liberating! It allows you to deliver exactly what you're capable of... your strengths. It helps you to recognize the things that maybe aren't your strengths, so you can work on those areas if they're important to you.
Here's a fact:
When you get hired for a position, enter a relationship, or start anything new, whatever it is, and you're pretending to be someone else...eventually the jig will be up. You'll get found out. Or...if you continue the farce it's going to cost you. Because acting is exhausting.
Is it time to check in?
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Is there somewhere in your life right now where you're putting on a mask to fit in?
Consider these questions:
Why do I feel like I have to put on a mask in this situation?
If it's a short term situation, it may be perfectly fine.
Is it worth it to "fit in" in this situation?
Remember, this should be the exception, not the rule.
What's the cost of doing this for me?
Continuing a farce can be costly...it's exhausting.
Remember...being yourself should feel like freedom...not fear!
It's by being yourself, bringing your unique spin on things to the table that adds value. Diversity. That's what enriches experiences for everyone.
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Warmly,
Ann
Being yourself should feel like freedom…not fear…