Careful...you just might get it!
Self fulfilling prophecy. I think that's what they call it...the idea that what you anticipate becomes your reality.
It's true.
How often do you head into a situation with your hands clenched and your jaw tight, with the anticipation that it's going to be difficult or challenging and then walk away and think...yep...that's exactly how it went. I knew it would. Yes you did. You're not surprised at all. Whether you like it or not, you decided up front that the situation was going to be difficult, and so you went into that situation in that state.
What do I mean by state?
Essentially, your state is your behaviour, emotions and thoughts at any given time. Some may compare it to your mood, but state covers pretty much everything. When you head into a situation anticipating that it's going to be difficult, consciously or not, you're going to go in with that posture, those emotions, those feelings and thoughts. So it's really no surprise that it goes exactly as you predicted.
What you anticipate creates how you show up. Your state.
Think about a time something felt difficult. A real memory. It could've been getting your kid out the door to school this morning, navigating a traffic snarl, deciding on which invitation to accept. Whatever it was, notice: What was going through your mind? How were you feeling? What were you doing? Pay attention. This is an example of your state when things are difficult for you.
Now, think about heading into a situation where things don't typically go smoothly. Maybe it's a negotiation, a meeting with a group in your organization, or a phone call you have to make. You get into that same old mindset...this isn't going to work out, this is going to be a battle and...lo and behold, once again, it is.
This isn't chance. This is you deciding before you even get started that thing's aren’t going to go well. Of course, you're not necessarily thinking that consciously, but when you decide or think that something's going to be difficult, somehow, it is.
What if you anticipated another outcome?
You might be surprised that this can also be true, that by choosing a different way to show up, you'll influence the outcome. Not only the outcome, but the process of getting there. What if the process didn't have to be difficult? What if the process was engaging? What would be different?
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
What's coming up for you this week where shifting your mindset would change the outcome...for the better?
Check in now. It could be any situation where you routinely cringe before it and walk away with the "I knew it would go poorly" sentiment. That thing.
Ask yourself:
How would I rather it went?
Replace the word that you typically anticipate with something more useful.
For example: Rather than a battle, what if it's an adventure?
What state would be useful to support this outcome?
If you want it to be an adventure, how do you need to show up?
Your state is...
Your thoughts.
How would you have to be thinking for it to be an adventure?
Your emotions.
How would you be feeling? Excited, curious...
Your behaviour.
How would your thoughts and emotions come through in your behaviour?
How would the "typical" outcome change?
Try it.
Your mindset determines so much. Shifting one little word… can change the trajectory of the encounter.
If you want to work on shifting your mindset. Contact me Wouldn't it be great to get an outcome you'd rather have?
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Cheers,
Ann
What are you anticipating?