Do you need to be in control?
The topic of conversation that I seem to be having, not only with clients, but with others in my life, and possibly myself...is the idea of control.
Control - "The power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events". One of several definitions out there, and for our purposes, it works.
Control, without a doubt, gives a sense of safety and security. The idea of "being in the driver's seat" and who doesn't want to be in the driver's seat?
Being in the driver's seat is great and...sometimes you're going to find yourself in situations, whether it's at work, home, or in the grocery store, where you want to control what isn't in your span of control.
Those things. It happens.
Making the distinction...is this in my power to manage or not? Knowing this is key. When you understand what's in your span of control, the effect on your stress level becomes much more manageable. Feeling "stressed" about something you can't change isn't useful.
Not sure how to manage?
There's a flow chart I've seen about worry that also nicely addresses the idea of whether you can control a situation or not.
Asking yourself - in this situation, do I have a say in the outcome? Is this in the realm of my control?
If the answer is, yes fantastic, take the action you can.
If the answer is no, find some way to either accept that or find out...is there a way that you can influence the situation?
Spending energy on the things that you can't control is a waste of time and can cause frustration and unnecessary stress. However, there's always something you can do...even if it's changing your attitude about the fact that you aren't in control. Accepting it. Letting go.
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
For this week, start to notice when you get those feelings that you have no control, and I say feelings, because there are physical feelings that come up that you may not be aware of. It could be feelings of anxiety, or feelings of anger, whatever those feelings are for you, identify where they're coming up.
Noticing is always the first step.
Then you can ask yourself:
In this situation, do I have a say in the outcome?
If the answer is, yes fantastic, take the action you can.
If the answer is no.
Either accept that or find out...is there a way that you can influence the situation?
Once you have that information...you get to decide how you want to be in the situation and yeah, you always have a choice.
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Cheers,
Ann
