Then you will find them…
Are you looking for the halo or the horns?
I can vividly recall being in elementary school, probably grade seven or so, Gerry** was that kid. The bad one. As I reflect I am guessing that Gerry had one hell of a childhood. At school? Gerry was the bad kid. Instigating fights at recess, talking back in class, storming out of the library...when there was something "bad" going on, you would usually find Gerry at the centre of it.
Everyone - students, teachers, other parents, expected the bad behaviour and Gerry delivered. People looked for the horns and that's what they got. Except that one teacher, Mr. Smith**. My guess is that Mr. Smith was probably in his early 20's at the time, as most new teachers are, and he was different. He spoke to Gerry in a different way and Gerry responded differently to him as well. No surprise that when Gerry was in Mr. Smith's class he was able to, albeit briefly, be a reasonably "good kid". Basically, he stayed out of trouble and did his work. That was what was expected of him in this class and he delivered. Mr. Smith could see Gerry's potential.
Where am I going with this? The concept of "halo or horns" comes up constantly, whether we are aware of it or not.
We are in the home stretch of 2021 and, in many organizations right now it's that time of year...performance reviews. I thought I would give you some food for thought. How we choose to look at someone is often how they will show up for us.
At work? It can be how a boss sees an employee. This is a classic one. You will find whatever you are looking for. It's a form of confirmation bias. When you have an employee you see as a super star, you will find evidence to support it and, may even overlook undesirable behaviour because of this halo bias. Conversely and possibly more detrimental, is the horns bias, like Gerry experienced all those years ago, where good attributes were overlooked.
Once you decide that someone is not doing what they should do or underdelivering, the tendency can be to amplify all of the things they aren't doing to your satisfaction and find all kinds of evidence to support the horns you have put on them. Scary, right? It's yet another way to bring awareness to the fact that, what we focus on shows up. And, we have choices when it comes to directing our attention.
This obviously doesn't just show up at work. It can show up pretty much anywhere. We put a label on someone and look for evidence to support it. Whether you're looking for the halo or the horns you will find them. You will become blinded by the bias you have unwittingly created. This blind spot will prevent you from seeing the full picture.
Have you put someone in a category and become blind to their other attributes? Good or bad. Maybe check in and see?
Everyone wears horns every now and then, it's human. Think about it. Where might balancing out this truth be useful?
Let's get to it...
Are you willing to try this out?
Your challenge for the next week...
What if you think about a particular situation or maybe a person who is causing you some difficulty and ask yourself, "am I looking for the halo or the horns"? You may be surprised by what you discover. Maybe try looking for the good and see what happens.
If you're preparing for a performance review or any other situation where preparation would be useful Contact me Preparing clients for conversations where "showing up as your best matters", happens to be one of the things I specialize in and I'm really good at it!
Stay safe and well.
Warmly,
Ann
**real names have been changed