*Warning contains explicit language
So you're growing your confidence, are you? How's it going? There are so many components to this thing called confidence. From self-love, and self-care to managing self-doubt...it can be a lot.
Here's the next one on the list, buckle up...this one's a big one...
Self-Acceptance or Self-Approval
Why does self-approval/acceptance matter so much?
Probably because others' approval can matter too much and that's NOT a good thing! Depending on your lived experience, this may not resonate with you at all. However, based on the multiple conversations I've had (mostly with women) and my own personal experience (of course!) this is well worth a read!
Self-approval. Sounds like a no-brainer doesn't it? Why wouldn't you check in with yourself first to look for approval? It's complicated...
Depending on how you were raised, with all of the other influences that come with that: cultural, maybe religious, your gender, etc. You may have gotten into the habit of putting what others think about you and the things you're doing ahead of what you think about them! And, you are 100% not alone on this one!
You might be interested to know how this is getting in the way of growing your confidence:
It can prevent you from believing in yourself and your abilities.
You're less likely to set healthy boundaries.
You're less likely to take risks or try new things because of the fear of failure.
You tend to be harder on yourself and set unrealistic goals.
Does any one of these resonate for you? Maybe more than one...
So what are you to do? How do you move forward from this?
Let’s get to it…
Your challenge…
Check-in with yourself. Are you putting too much weight on what others think about you or the decisions you make, the opinions you have, etc.?
Here's some food for thought to consider the next time you're worried about what others think. When you stop caring about what others think, here's what can happen:
Reduces the need for external validation:
When you approve of yourself, you rely less on external validation to feel good about yourself.
Encourages taking risks:
When you approve of yourself, you're more likely to take risks and try new things without fear of failure.
Improves decision-making:
When you approve of yourself, you trust your own judgment and are more confident in your decision-making abilities.
Enhances assertiveness:
When you approve of yourself, you're more likely to assert yourself and speak up for what you believe in. This can help you own your abilities and strengths.
And probably the one that had the most impact on me personally.. in terms of self-approval...(WARNING...explicit language here)
"Once I got a handle on the difference between giving a fuck about something, and giving a fuck about what other people think about what I give a fuck about, it all started falling into place." - The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck - A No F*cks Given Calendar 2022
By practicing self-care, focusing on your strengths, challenging negative self-talk, and setting achievable goals, you can develop a stronger sense of self-approval and, ultimately, build your confidence.
If you're ready to start growing your confidence Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Warmly,
Ann
Buckle up…it’s time for a hard turn!