Time for a reboot?
You've probably purchased a computer or cell phone before. You take it out of the box, put it together, and hit the "on" button. Tada! Ready to go. Or, is it? Chances are, you went through all of the default settings and did a little assessment. Keep, discard, or upgrade. You decided which factory settings were for you and which weren't and some things were unchangeable 'defaults', you had to accept them.
As much as possible, you customized for the experience YOU wanted to have. You made it your own.
You came into this world much the same way. Your natural "defaults' or 'factory settings'... were mostly set by your parents to start with and then, along the way, other influencers in your life. All well and good, right? If yes...read no further. If not...
Think about some of the defaults, maybe these resonate: seeking to be in control; people-pleasing; being the caregiver; seeking approval - mostly ones that, although challenging, can be changed. Then there are the ones that are just a part of being human - like your negativity bias - a bit more tricky. Or, there is a myriad of other factory settings that you uniquely received. Mostly things that were essential to your initial survival. Things that probably made you feel safe because that's what you knew.
That was then. This is now.
The cool thing? You have more control over all of those "default" settings than you might think.
Although you may not have selected them, that doesn't mean you can't change them. It's never too late, or too early for that matter, to reboot the system and assess.
What exactly might you want to upgrade if you're looking at building or reconnecting with your confidence?
Let’s get to it…
Your challenge…
Notice your default settings, and then decide which ones you want to keep, upgrade or reboot in service of building your confidence.
Your brain has a natural negative bias:
You will tend to remember the things that went wrong more readily than those that went right...not great for building your confidence. Write down your achievements and strengths.
Identify your limiting beliefs:
Truthfully, all beliefs are limiting...that's their job. Perhaps look for things you believe may be holding you back from feeling more confident. Maybe start with any negative self-talk and challenge yourself to find evidence to the contrary.
Identify one particular source of your lack of confidence:
Take some time to reflect on what might be causing your lack of confidence. Is it a particular situation or relationship? Start with one specific thing.
Take action:
Noticing what is getting in the way of building your confidence and taking a small step to change situation by situation. Maybe it's pausing before you listen to someone else's opinion or questioning that voice in your head to make sure it's yours...
Those default ways of thinking and behaving will take time to change. The good thing is, with consistent and persistent action, you can change your mindset and grow your confidence.
If you're ready to start growing your confidence Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Warmly,
Ann
What’s your default setting?