Yep...and probably more than one!
Before you go look at your partner, parent, child, or dog...I want you to look at yourself.
There's more than likely a whole crew hanging out with you in your head. The voices that pop up, especially when you're on the cusp of something really good. If you're listening closely, they may not even be yours...but that's not the point at the moment. The point? The voices may have a particular sound and seem very reasonable. That's the catch...even if they seem reasonable, you need to recognize what's driving them.
Fear.
I know. It's a theme. It does not go away, and you can learn how to recognize and manage it to your advantage.
You see, fear has a tendency to:
Maximize what can go wrong. The risks. Even if the risk is just being new at something.
And, because you're so busy focusing on the risks, fear naturally minimizes the benefits or opportunities of this thing that you want to do.
How do you flip this? How do you learn to maximize the benefits and minimize the risks when that's the natural default of that brain of yours?
It's a practice for sure. You need to notice that it's happening. It always starts in your body, but you've been trained to listen to your head. Regardless, notice the signal that comes up and sends you to your negative default. That's step one.
Start to flip it by interrupting the thought. Get up. Move around. Place your attention elsewhere for a few minutes.
Then ask yourself, what are the possible opportunities here?
Because of your cognitive bias - when you believe something, your brain will find evidence to support it. This is good news! This means that you actually have more control than you think you do. Once you decide that you're going to find the upside of that change or whatever is causing you to feel fear, your brain will look for the upside too. This will settle down the fear.
It's hard to feel fear when you're finding all the benefits of that thing that you want to do.
Cool, right?! So now what?
Are you ready?
Let’s get to it…
Your challenge…
When fear shows up (which it will if you're living your life)...
Reflect/Notice:
Oh, there's that biology of mine kicking in. There's the niggling in my chest/stomach (or wherever you feel your fear).
Be with it for a moment and show yourself some compassion. It's your body trying to take care of you.
Reframe:
What if your fear is a gateway? A sign that something really exciting is ahead for you.
What opportunity is just beyond that feeling you're experiencing?
Challenge your cognitive bias:
Your brain's gonna go to the risks and pitfalls first.
Interrupt them. Flip your thoughts to the benefits of this change you want to make.
Then...
With this in mind. Make a choice. Are you going to let the fear stop you or spark you?
Embarrassment lasts a moment, regrets last a lifetime. Petteri Tarkkonen
If you're ready to confidently take your first step Contact me You have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!
Warmly,
Ann
Are you living with a liar?