You may not be ready to hear this...

Brace yourself.
 

You're normal.
 

Not what you thought you would read? Let me say it again...You're Normal. 
 

Exhale.

No one has it all figured out...so what makes you think you have to have it all figured out?

No one is confident 100% of the time...so what makes you think you have to be confident all of the time?

No one knows it all... despite what they may project...so what makes you think you have to know it all?
 

You're human.

Full stop. Even the high profile, "have your shit together professionals?"...human.  And, because of this - spoiler alert here - you're going to feel all of the human emotions that come up in life. All of them.  Whether you choose to explore them is a different story.

Losing track of your confidence?  Not seeing your choices? Laying blame elsewhere when, in fact, there's no one to blame in the first place? Not recognizing your value and what you bring to the table? I'm sure you could add a few of your own to the list...
 

You're not alone!

Even the most powerful, high level, badass professionals experience these feelings from time to time. This is universal. Absolutely no one escapes this. Sorry.

What can you do?  

A place to start?  You know the drill...

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

When one of those "feelings" comes up? Explore it:

• Get still.

• Give the feeling a label and acknowledge it.

• Breathe...this is a moment in time, and perhaps in this moment, it feels real and true.

• Now think of a time you knew you had that skill, strength or capability that seems to be missing right now.

• Let the memory bubble up. It's yours.

• Label this feeling and acknowledge it.

• Let the memory of it flood through you as if it's happening now.

• Breathe.

• What's different now when you think about that feeling?

I want to normalize for you that having feelings of doubt about your skills, strengths and capabilities happens to everyone. Staying in those feelings is optional. 

Ready to connect to your skills, strengths and capabilities again? Contact me  They're still there. I promise. 

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

You may not be ready to hear this…

Do you need to watch your mouth?

The words you use matter...
 

I remember being a kid and probably being a little sassy from time to time, yes, I know, for those of you who know me, so hard to believe!   What I remember most about this was being told - in the words of my Dad - to “mind my P’s & Q’s”.  I still laugh when I think of it. It’s an 'English' thing… I knew in that moment that I had said something that crossed some sort of line between what was acceptable to say vs. what was not.  Ah, words.

What I am getting at today is a little different and still related to the words that we may say, mostly unconsciously or unintentionally, and often, by habit.

The words we choose to describe a person, a situation or our self.  These words matter. Our words can direct our behaviour or approach to things without us even noticing…it can be that subtle.

Changing just one word can affect your approach to a situation. It’s a mindset thing.

I thought I'd share a situation that beautifully illustrates my point:

I was in a conversation with someone who was describing an upcoming project they were going to be managing. Right out of the gate, they described it as a battle, and stated that they were confined by the guardrails that were being set up by others. Hmmm. I stopped them and asked. If it wasn't a “battle”, what else could it be. With minimal hesitation, they replied “an opportunity”. Cool, and how about those “guardrails”, what else could those be? Again, with no hesitation, the response was “parameters”. Can you feel the difference here?

So I went further, what’s different about this situation now when, rather than being a battle with guardrails, it's an opportunity with parameters? Suffice it to say, they left the conversation with a completely different attitude and perspective on their upcoming project. 

That’s what words can do!

Funny how changing just one word can completely shift how we approach a situation, a co-worker, an acquaintance, or perhaps someone close to you in your life.

What could change if, rather than thinking that someone is being “difficult”, they are being “diligent”? How might this simple change in words shift the way you think about them?

And let’s not even get started on the way people talk about themselves…

What's your self-talk like?  Is it kind and compassionate, or are you always putting yourself down? 

When you start to pay attention to how you talk about yourself, situations and others, your whole mindset will start to shift. It’s gradual, and over time, can be transformational.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Pick one situation in your life right now where a change in perspective would be useful.  It doesn't have to be a big thing at all...you are practicing here.

• Really pay attention to what words you are using to describe the situation/person etc.

• Notice how the words you are using are affecting your perspective on the situation/person.

• Ask yourself - how else could I describe this situation/person that would be more useful?

• Maybe think about how you would like to feel about the person or situation that would be more useful or productive.

• Exchange your original word or description for another one. Just one word.

• Notice how your attitude and outlook shifts when you change that one word. What becomes better because of this?

Ready to shift your mindset? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Do you need to watch your mouth?

Are you ready to stop running?

Then you're going to have to get still.

Are you on the run right now?  You're not alone.  Many people coming out of the situation we've been in are currently “on the run” - specifically when it comes to their career.  Thinking that the 'grass is greener',  over there, and maybe it will be. 

But here's the thing, running away from what you don’t want isn't the same as running towards what you DO want. How can you tell the difference?

You may find this question useful...

What do I want, more than what I don't want?

Think about it.  When you're running away from what you don’t want, there may be an energy of fear, desperation and maybe some relief. However, when you're running towards what you want, there's a completely different feeling. Perhaps the excitement of possibilities or a fresh start.

When I look back on my ride so far I can clearly see (thank you 20/20 hindsight!) the times in my life where I was running away from something vs. running towards something.  Maybe you can relate?

Here are some things you may recognize when you take a look back.  When you're running from something you often end up exactly where you were before.  Oh, the face in the relationship may look different, or the company may have a different name, the situation may look brand spanking new and then? All of a sudden, that person in the relationship acts a lot like the previous person you were involved with, or the job you're doing ends up being a lot like the one you left. Sound familiar?  When you're “running away” you get what you get, and sometimes its good, and sometimes, it ends up being the same.

When you're running towards something you want and you're clear, it's a completely different experience.  You don’t settle for the “this is as good as it gets” lie.  You know that there's something worth striving for so, you keep going until what you really want presents itself.  When you're clear, you recognize, and are ready and poised for the opportunity when it shows up. 

Notice the difference? There is a confidence and belief that what you want is out there and you're not going to settle. You're comfortable with taking the time you need for the right circumstances.

Patience. Perseverance. Purpose.  And, the one that sometimes gets overlooked? Thinking. Really taking the time to be quiet with your thoughts, allowing stillness.  Very tough when "busyness" is your go to state and, for many, it is.  

Are you on the run?
 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

If you're on the run right now, whatever that may mean for you, here are some tips:

• Stop! Before you go any further, stop.

• Ask yourself: What do I want more than what I don't want? A trippy question and oh so useful. It may help you to recognize, that where you are is pretty great. Or, it may be the question that helps you identify what really matters to you.

• Think. Be still. Take the time to be quiet with your thoughts. Journal if that's your practice.

• Take the time to get CLEAR. This is the key to everything!

• Then, put your running shoes on and head to that thing that's truly for you!

Are you on the run right now?  My suggestion is to take some time to get clear on what you want, set your compass, and then get ready to lace up your shoes.  It will be worth the investment in the long run.

Ready to reassess your next step? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you ready to stop running?

Sometimes you don't know what you're missing...

...until you have it again. And then, you may decide you like it, or, you don't...

We very recently welcomed another rescue cat into our lives. We haven't had a cat for 10 months.  Instantly the vibe in the house changed.  I had no idea how much I was missing the presence of a family pet.

As time moves forward, and the world continues to open up and evolve, you may find that you're reconnecting with experiences, people or things you used to have.  Or, you may be choosing not to revisit these things. Time and space can do that.

One thing that has recently become clear to me, is that having a gap in experiences has been useful. I think it's safe to say that we've all had some gaps in the last couple of years?

What comes to mind for you when you think of a gap?  For some of you, perhaps the word space automatically comes to mind. That space may be physical as in "mind the gap" at the subway in the UK, or, it could be space in your calendar, time on the clock.

Whatever came to mind for you, different people will approach a gap differently. 

There are going to be people who can't not be doing something. They're going to tend to want to fill the space that the gap creates. 

Then there are going to be the people who look at the space as an opportunity. Rather than trying to fill it they may notice the potential in it.  They are willing to take a pause and breathe, trusting that the space is just as necessary as the busyness.  The Yin and the Yang. 

Regardless of where you may find yourself right now, looking ahead, you have choices about how you want to manage your space and time. What do you want to re-acquaint yourself with, what would you rather just put behind you?

In the past, the younger version of Ann typically would race frantically to find something to fill any spaces that came up. Now? Not so much. Now? I would rather utilize the spaces that come up to recharge and think.  It's kind of liberating!  

What about you? Do you run to fill empty space or do you revel in the time available to you to recharge your batteries or think? There's no correct answer here, just an opportunity to notice your own habits.

What if you looked for the potential in the space?
What could be different for you?

Spring is a perfect time to reassess where you're at... Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing…

Is it time for some spring cleaning?

Apparently it is!

Lots can accumulate over a couple of years.  One thing that's for sure? There's no going back to the way it was.  It's kind of like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube after you've squeezed it...it's nearly impossible, and it's messy!  

Time for some spring cleaning!

Letting go of things that just don't work anymore. Taking stock. Cost vs. worth.  Weighing in.

What's at the back of your closet that you're ready to take a final look at? Something you've been hanging on to that you are now ready to release. It doesn't have to be something big, just something that has been "niggling" at you and perhaps taking up a little more bandwidth then you'd like it to.

Think of that thing now.

That brain of yours has a sneaky way of sending you something right when you need it, and not necessarily something you've thought of in a while.

Thinking of your particular situation now, here's some perspective for you to consider when you're holding on to something:

Letting go is not the same as giving up.  Read that again. Letting go often results in a feeling of "lightness" whereas giving up can result in a feeling of "defeat". They are different.

Being ready to let go of something is a big decision. There must be a good reason why you've hung onto it this long.  Letting go means saying I'm ready to move on, whatever that means for you in this moment. Maybe it is an attitude, or a way of thinking, that is creating an obstacle for you? Perhaps you are hanging on to a relationship that you have outgrown, a job that has run its course for you or, it could literally be a material, tangible thing.  Could it be a situation that's truly beyond your control?

Whatever popped up for you came up for a reason. Ask yourself. What can I choose to let go of in this situation?

By letting something go, you open up space for something else to come in. Maybe an idea or a perspective that you haven’t considered in a while, or perhaps it's opening up space to explore something completely new. Take some time right now to let something bubble to the surface for you.

That thing. What if you had space to let that in? What could be different for you?

There are going to be situations in your life that you wish were different and, you cannot change them. Letting go of your expectations and embracing how it is rather than how you think it should be, is freeing. 

So think about that thing now.  What becomes available to you when you let this thing go?
 

Is "hanging on" to something getting in the way of your performance? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Is it time for some spring cleaning?

It's not always about what it costs...

What is it worth?

Think about it.  I've heard that you get what you pay for, or maybe, what you're willing to pay for perhaps?  I'm pretty sure you've heard that too?  The thing is, the cost of getting something isn't necessarily money (especially if what you want isn't a tangible thing). 

It may cost you time or the energy to do something else. It may mean not being able to do something you like to do, or spending as much time with the people who matter to you. That's when knowing what it's worth to you, is important information.  The worth is what buoys you when the costs seem daunting.

So how does one do this?

It's probably a good idea to check in and reassess from time to time.  You know, take a pit stop. Make sure that the energy, time or in some cases, the money that you are spending, is still worth it.
 
Spring is on the way! A change in seasons is a perfect time to: Pause. Reflect and Reset.

Is it time to check in with yourself?
 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

As the world changes, whatever circumstances you may find yourself in, check in and ask yourself:

• How am I spending my time, energy or money?

• Does it still make sense to me in my current circumstances?

• Is it time to reallocate where I am putting my resources?

• Pause. Reflect and Reset.

As always, writing is a really great way to sort thoughts out, so if this is your practice, set a timer for 10 minutes and explore what shows up for you.

Spring is a perfect time to reassess where you're at... Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

It’s not always about what it costs…

Does your monster have a name?

Maybe it's time to name it...

Seems like a funny question "does your monster have a name?" - I thought so too. I was listening to a meditation recently and in it, this came up:  When we give our monster a name- whatever our "monster" may be, it loses its power.

I tried it, and you know what? It seems to be true.

You know what else is true about monsters?  They tend to look bigger than they are. No matter what your "monster" is: self doubt, lack of confidence, stress, anxiety, or my personal favourite, fear - giving that monster a name is the first step in disempowering it.

Despite years of doing the work I do and all the practices I have, I am not immune to this. My monster still likes to show up. It tends to rear its ugly head and interfere specifically, when I am thinking about making some sort of change, or trying something new. What do I mean by interfere?  It sets off the alarm bells that are naturally built into our system to go off when we want to upset the status quo.  Even if it's for very good reasons.  Not very practical at all. 

Maybe you have your own monster?

No matter what your monster may be - self doubt, lack of confidence etc. I want to encourage you to follow the following process to quiet it so you can get sh*t done.

• Notice. Yes.  When your monster starts showing up, notice the feelings that start bubbling up. Stop and notice.

• Acknowledge it. Yep. I may even say it out loud.  Oh ya, it's you again.

• Don't linger.  Once I know it's fear and that, in my experience, fear is a liar, I can move to the next step.

• Take some sort of action - send a text, email. Write a line or two. Make a call.  All little, doable things.

The thing all monsters have in common? They are all typically LIARS. 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

When you're monster rears its ugly head:

• Notice the feelings that are bubbling up.

• Acknowledge it. Give it a name.

• Don't linger.  Your monster is usually a liar. Once you recognize it, you can move to the next step.
  

• Take some sort of action - send a text, email. Write a line or two. Make a call.  All little, doable things.

Is your "monster" getting in the way of your performance? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Does your monster have a name?

What can Goldilocks teach you about stress?

More than you might think...

"Goldilocks" knew when the chair, the porridge and the bed were just right. Not too hot, too soft, not too...you're getting the picture.

Stress is kind of like that. Too much and our circuits can get overwhelmed; too little and we have no oomph to get things done.  The sweet spot? Just the right amount to give us the energy to perform.

Wouldn't you like to have the right amount of stress? It's possible. It takes a willingness to look at stress differently, and as much as we say we want "different", as soon as we open that door, it's very easy to turn and run back. Why would you run back to stress?  Because it has benefits. Yes. Benefits.

There's definitely something about a little bit of healthy stress - that boost of adrenalin - that makes us feel motivated and energetic and ready to get that thing done. Performance pressure perhaps? Whatever you want to call it, it definitely helps to get s**t done.  But let's face it, no one wants to be in that state all of the time.  It would be exhausting.

The thing is, when you label everything as stress or stressful, you're ruling out other options. When you decide to look at the energy of stress in a more useful way, you can tap into it, rather than letting it take over. In the right amount, stress can provide strength, motivation and alertness.  But first? You have to be willing to look at stress as something you do vs. something outside of you.  When you do this, stress becomes a behaviour and the good news here is that you have a say in your behaviour.
 
When you are able to do this, you will be able to gain some power over it so you can harness it for something useful.  Let's face it, those feelings are REAL and, you can channel them into more useful states.

I'm not suggesting you go from stressed to calm, it's not possible.  You can't get from stressed to calm in one go...it's just too many jumps...

BUT...

You can move from stress to: strong, energized, and alert, for example, or other similar states that have some energy and oomph to them.   

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

When you find yourself feeling "stressed out" :

• Ask yourself -how else could I label these feelings that would be more useful for me? (For example: strong, energetic, motivated)

• Pick one of these alternatives for stress - sit with it for a moment.  I suggest remembering a real time you felt that particular feeling - e.g.  time you felt strong - let it bubble up for you and then explore what it felt like in your body.

• Ask yourself if I was feeling strong, what would be different about this situation?

• Repeat once or twice by picking another feeling that has some oomph to it.

• Now, notice what feels different after you have relabelled stress to something more useful?

Is stress getting in the way of your performance? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

What can Goldilocks teach you about stress?

Are you prepared to go "the distance"?

Plan for the pit stops.

On the way to getting that thing that you want, there are going to be moments where you may need to check in.

Going the distance. What exactly does that mean? As a former half-marathoner, I literally know what it means to go 'a distance' but going 'the distance'  feels different. Perhaps because it's not as specific. The unknown.

When you're unsure of the distance, or running in unpredictable conditions, preparing for pit stops along the way just makes good sense.  Pausing to re-fuel, catch your breath and re-energize.  Maybe even take a peek at the roadmap to ensure that you are still headed in the right direction?

Here are a couple of questions to consider as pit stops as you continue running towards what you want....
 

Stay the course, or change the course?

From time to time, pause to assess whether you want to keep heading where you're going, or if you want to change direction. There's often more than one way to get somewhere, and most pathways are not linear. That's actually what makes achieving the final outcome so rewarding. Is it time to change direction?

Do you need to make a path, or take a path? Both can be useful.

Sometimes someone has already done the legwork and it makes sense to walk in their footsteps. Soak up their experience. That's where a mentor may be helpful.

Then there may be times when no one else has quite done the thing you want to do. This is where you will need to be brave and create your own path. That's where a coach to guide you may be helpful.

Take a look back for a moment.

There's nothing like 20/20 hindsight to bring clarity to a situation, to help you get your bearings again. Perspective. Actually being able to see how far you've come. This can often be quite enlightening. You may be quite surprised to see how far you've come already. Use this inspiration to propel you forward.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Pick one thing that you're working towards where you're running out of steam.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I stay the course or change the course?

• Where do I need to make a path?

• Where could I benefit by walking in someone else's footsteps?

Reflect.

• Take a look back at how far you've come. Use this inspiration as fuel.

Now get back to it! You've got this.

Is perfection stopping you from progressing? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you prepared to go the distance?

Not feeling it?

I hear you.

You've been hustling: Putting yourself out there. Trying new things, asking the questions. fumbling and getting back up. Staying the course and making stuff happen, and it's only February!

Then, all of a sudden, you hit an inevitable bump. Now what?

For me?  That bump came yesterday.  For those of you paying attention, I typically release a blog on Thursday mornings. But not this week. I got thrown off my game and rather than acknowledging that I wasn't in the right headspace to write, I started trying to force myself to "put something out there".  I don't know about you, but whenever I start forcing anything, the result I'm looking for always eludes me.  After drafting three blogs and not being satisfied with any of them I stopped myself. What was the point of this?  Trying harder is never a good strategy.

So what did I do?

I took a breath, admitted that the blog was not going to happen and shut my computer down.

Allowing myself to let it go.  Not an easy feat for me, and also a great lesson.  In my line of work I am continually supporting clients in growing their strengths and showing up in their best state to do what they want to do.  This includes acknowledging when that growth requires a nudge and sometimes accepting when they need to take a breath and pause. For some reason,  I don't apply this practice to myself - sound familiar to anyone out there?
 

I want you to consider this blog a public service today. 

It’s normal to come up against a bump every now and then.  What I want to  normalize (for myself too!) is that it is okay to step back and acknowledge the bump, take a breath, pause and reset. We're all human here!


Are you ready to stop pushing and start progressing? Contact me  One thing that's become increasingly clear to me? Going it alone is not ideal.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Not feeling it?