Is your belief greater than your fear?

It matters.

When you believe that something is possible for you, then all of a sudden, it becomes more probable. It starts with that grain of belief in what you want, and ultimately, in yourself.

The truth of the matter is, you have everything you need; all of the skills, strengths and capabilities, they're there. Sometimes it's easy to lose track of them. Losing track of them doesn't mean they don't exist anymore, it means they're not "on the tip of your tongue" so to speak. You know that feeling?  When you're trying to remember the name of that song or movie?  Except it's not the tip of your tongue at all, it's really in the data centre that you call your brain.  Every lived experience you've ever had is stored somewhere in those archives.  I know, incredible.  Sometimes all it takes is a song on the radio, or a smell coming from a restaurant, to take you right back to an experience. It can be that quick.

So how do you access experiences that are useful, right here and now? Hmmm...that's my job. To illuminate those strengths and skills and capabilities of yours so you can tap into them and find the confidence, or whatever else you may be looking for, to take the first step.

Your belief has to be greater than your fear. I know, there's that word again, fear. You have to truly believe in yourself and what you want, more than you believe that reptilian brain of yours. It's going to tell you that you don't know enough, you're not smart enough, you're too old, too young, the timing won't work etc.  And it's a lie.  A normal feeling for sure, and it's a lie.  But keeping you alive and functioning is more tricky for your brain when you want to do something different. Dumb? Yes.  But knowing this can be your secret weapon!  When you know how to outsmart your brain, then you can get on with things!  Does that sound good to you?



Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Tips to outsmart your biology:

• Don't overthink it - instead take the first step and see what happens.

  • When you take a small step, you can always go back. OR,

  • You may realize you like where you're heading, so you can take another small step.

• Call out your fear - maybe it sounds a little silly AND it works - you can say out loud - oh that's my reptilian brain trying to protect me. 

  • This interrupts the circuit of fear for a few moments to let you take action.

• Action - I can't say enough about the power of taking action.  Most times you'll end up asking yourself "What took me so long"?

Just so you know, you may never feel like you're completely ready, but the belief that something's possible, and the willingness to start with one step, is how it starts.

If you truly believe in yourself and what you want, more than you believe that reptilian brain of yours, then you're already headed in the right direction.

Want to tap into YOUR confidence so you can get what you want? Contact me  Let's get you clear on YOUR skills, strengths and capabilities so you can be the confident person you were born to be!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Is your belief greater than your fear?

Change is in the air...

Change is in the air...can you feel it?

The days are shorter, the nights cooler, and it's back to school.  Even if you're not going "back to school" you definitely know what I mean.  The feeling of a fresh start, new things to learn and do.  The sensation in your stomach when you know you're on to something exciting.

This year (finally!) feels different. More and more of you are deciding that YES, now is a good time, for whatever it is that may have been on the backburner for...a while.

September,  the informal end of summer. It always brings a sense of renewal and fresh energy. The potential for new beginnings is all around you.

It's a New Year kind of feeling, and, like a New Year, September provides you with the opportunity to change direction. A "weigh station" of sorts on the road trip that is 2022. Perhaps there's something you've been putting off for more than a while, a phone call you've been meaning to make, taking that next step in your career or, maybe it's time to let go of that thing you know you'll never do. 

A time to pause, reflect, and take some inventory.  

Do you realize how much you've accomplished since January?  Have you considered how you want the rest of the year to unfold? Taking a pause and reflecting can be instrumental in deciding how you will spend your energy for the next four months.  This exercise will illuminate areas that you want to focus on, which will naturally pull your attention away from the things that may not be a priority for you anymore.

What's in your plans? Are you satisfied with how things are shaping up for 2022, or are you ready to shift gears? If a “course correction” is required, what action are you going to take? You still have plenty of time to finish 2022 in a way that is meaningful for you.

So let's get to it...

Are you willing to try this out?

Your challenge for the next week...

• Will you take 10 minutes or so to reflect on how far you've come this year? 

  • You can think about it however, I recommend actually putting pen to paper for this and writing non-stop to let the yarn unravel. That's what happens when you write non-stop, new information is often revealed.

• Once you've done that, continue to write the ending that you want to have for 2022.

  • Same suggestion: write non-stop for 10 minutes. You may be surprised by what surfaces on the paper for you.

• Visualize it and make it vivid. Imagine this New Year's Eve and what you want to look back on. What will tell you it was a good year for you?

  • What did you let go of this year?

  • What new things did you discover about yourself?

  • What was that brave step you took that helped you turn the corner?

  • What else?

If you keep doing what you’re doing, is this ending likely to happen? If not, take some time to think about what you need to do to finish up how you’d like. You may need to alter your plans to get there, but know that you probably have more choices than you think you do. 

If you're not feeling confident about the way your year is shaping up: Contact me  I don't want you to be looking back four months from now, regretting not taking that first step.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Change is in the air…

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program...

Just like that…SEVEN years!  This week marks my seventh year as an entrepreneur! How is that possible?

This is not a "Top Seven" of my MOST important observations. There have been waaay more learnings that that! What this IS, is a list that I'm thinking will be useful for YOU. 

In particular, I want to share some nuggets that will be helpful for you if you're starting something new, or simply starting to think about doing something new. Oh, and by the way, it doesn't have to be starting your own business. Those feelings of self doubt, fear, uncertainty and all of the other yucky feelings will come up when you want to do anything new.  Here's a list of things to remember when those feelings come up (because, inevitably, they will):

• Every expert starts out as a beginner.
  

  • Please read that again. It can feel awkward and uncomfortable when you're first learning something new or embarking on change.  Think about any skill you have that you do without thinking now. I bet if you look back you probably had the very same feelings when you started learning that skill. The gift of 20/20 hindsight. As you embark on this thing, look for progress over perfection.

• Fear is a liar.
  

  • As I've mentioned many times before, it's normal to feel fear: It's part of your biology, the brain's way of maintaining the status quo to keep you alive.  You will feel fear,  but don't let that stop you from trying something new. Fear tends to shrink in the presence of action. 

• Clarity IS a superpower.
  

  • You need to know what your desired outcome is if you want to stand a chance of getting it. This doesn't have to be huge. You don't need to know every detail out of the gate. Start with the first thing you can do, it could be investigating something on the internet, or calling a friend who knows someone they could introduce you to. Taking things step by step is how deep transformation can occur.  

• Don't wait until you feel ready!
  

  • The right time (which really doesn't exist) to do something actually may be now. You have all the skills, strengths and capabilities you need...promise. Confidence truly comes from doing, not talking about it, watching the video or "waiting until"....

• Know your why.
  

  • Make sure it's yours!  Sometimes you think you want something because someone else wants it for you.  (Refer to last week's blog*)  Take some time to get clear on why you want to start something.

• Believe it's possible. 
  

  • Even if it's one tiny cell of belief, you need to recognize that what you want is possible for you. Deep down, you probably do believe it is, or you wouldn't be spending so much energy thinking about it.  When self doubt creeps in, you can lose the confidence that supports your belief. Surround yourself with people (or a coach?!!) who can see your potential.

• Trust yourself.
  

  • You know more than you think you do.

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Check in with yourself this week. Have you been putting off doing something new?  Re-read the list above and repeat as necessary.

The time is going to pass no matter what you do, so you may as well do something you want to do.

If you're not feeling confident about the first step: Contact me  I don't want you to be looking back seven years from now, regretting not taking that first step.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program…

Have you forgotten your "why"?

It may be useful to check in...

What's your "why"?  If you're not familiar with this question, you may want to check out https://simonsinek.com/

Over a decade ago, Simon Sinek started a movement that inspired millions to demand purpose at work, to ask what was the WHY of their organization. To be clear, the why had nothing to do with business results...it ran deeper than that. According to Sinek - Why is your purpose  - What's your cause? What do you believe? 

I recently decided to check in with my own why* for my business and, I had such a moment of clarity that I thought I'd check in with you. 

When's the last time you actually stopped and gave some thought to a specific goal you're working on?   Especially if you can't seem to get traction on it.  Step one, really is knowing why you want to achieve, or have that thing.  When this is clear, you're more likely to reignite the desire to pursue it, and find the confidence to take the steps to get it. 

The question why can get different responses. Think about it: When you've done something, or want to do something, and someone asks you why, it can feel confronting, or put you on the defense.  However, when you ask yourself the question why, and really take the time to explore your answer, you may be surprised by the response you give yourself.

You may find you gain some clarity around whether you really do want to do that thing you say you want to do. OR, you may be surprised to find out that the thing you're pursuing isn't something you want at all!  It may be something you thought you wanted because others told you you should.  It's complicated that way.

As you move through time, you're bound to gather learning and experiences that will shape and shift you.  Knowing when to keep going with these things or to move forward onto something different, is key when it comes to being clear on your particular WHY. When you know why you're doing something, the how seems to fall into place. Things really do get more clear.

Curious?

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Check in with yourself this week. Is there a goal you want to achieve and you haven't made any progress on it?  Here's an exercise that is best done with someone else asking you the questions and you writing the answers down WITHOUT sharing them. You can also do it by yourself.

The 5 Whys: Just  like it sounds. Ask (either yourself or have someone guide you through):

• Why is that thing you want important to you? Write down your answer. That's the first why.

• If you have a partner, let them know when you've written your response. 

• Next ask, why is the answer to the previous question important to you. (Second why.)

• Repeat this pattern until you've done it five times.

• When you're done, notice what's different when you think about why you want that thing. You may be surprised by your own response.

The power of this exercise is in the unravelling of your thoughts without having to explain them to someone else. YOU do know your why.

Once you're clear on your why, the how seems to start falling into place.

Feeling less confident about your why than you’d like? Contact me  Let's get you clear on YOUR skills, strengths and capabilities so you can be the confident person you were born to be!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

*My why is to reconnect you with your confidence so you can achieve your life goals.

Have you forgotten your why?

Is it time to make that change?

Be prepared for the fear...

They say the time will come when the time has come and then?  Hopefully, you take action.  Hopefully? Yes, hopefully.

When you're ready to make a change, that's when fear and self-doubt tend to creep in.  This is a natural reaction, it's in your biology.  Fight, flight or freeze. The place your brain goes to whenever you want to change the status quo. Your brain has one job to do: keep you alive. That's it. That's why anytime you do anything more than a couple of times - tying your shoe, making coffee, driving - your brain makes it an autopilot activity  The sole purpose of this autopilot? To conserve precious energy so your brain can do its job more easily.

This autopilot was super useful for your ancestors, it literally would save them from expending unnecessary energy so they could be ready when the saber tooth tiger crossed their path. It kept them alive.

Here's the catch: the fight, flight or freeze response our ancestors had when a saber tooth tiger crossed their path, is the same response you get when you want to speak up in a meeting!  Sounds kind of silly doesn't it?

How do you learn to work with your biology so you can do the things you want to do? 

Step one:  Recognize the signs of your sneaky brain in action - typically you'll notice a response of fear or self-doubt in your thoughts.  If you're able to start there, this alone can help you to move towards achieving that thing that you want.

Simple? Yes.  Easy? Not initially.
 

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Check in with yourself this week. Is there something you've been wanting to do but keep getting outsmarted by your biology?

• Pay attention.

• This is your brain trying to protect you.

• Start calling out the fear. It's a liar. It tends to exaggerate what can go wrong and minimize what can go right.

• Fear cannot exist with action. Truth.

• Knowing this, what's one tiny first step that you can take to move towards that thing that you want?

• Repeat. Often.

Feeling less confident than you’d like to? Contact me  Let's get you clear on YOUR skills, strengths and capabilities so you can be the confident person you were born to be!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Is it time to make that change?

It's all about you...

Really, it actually is all about you!

Has this ever happened to you: You’re sailing along, having a wonderful day, and all of a sudden, you look over at that person “over there” and start comparing where you are, to where they appear to be.

If you’re working on building your confidence, the quickest way to shoot it down? Start comparing yourself, or your current situation, to anyone else’s. As tempting as it may be, it usually doesn’t end up well.

You don’t know someone else’s back story or circumstances. You’re probably making a lot of assumptions…and you know what assuming does…

The interesting thing for sure? Everyone thinks that everyone else is looking at them and judging where they’re at; when in fact, everyone else is feeling the same way!!

When you make it about yourself, however, that’s when you’ll start to appreciate that you have your own specific trail you’re on, and it is exclusively yours. All your lived experience to this very moment is YOURS. No one else has had exactly the same experience as you and never could.

It’s your uniqueness that makes you…you!

So…how do you remember this, especially when those moments occur?

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Check in with yourself this week. When a moment of “I should be or I wish I was” crops up, maybe ask yourself:

• What assumptions am I making?

• What’s true about you and your situation?

• Take a moment to look back at your own path and see how far you’ve come…impressive I bet!

• Remember, it’s quite likely that someone else is looking at YOU in exactly the same way.

• Stay in your own lane…it’s uniquely yours!

Feeling less confident than you’d like to? Contact me  Let's get you clear on YOUR skills, strengths and capabilities so you can be the confident person you were born to be!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

It’s all about you!

Not feeling confident?

You’re a high performer, yet, every now and then, you lose your confidence. You can exhale now. I can pretty much guarantee that you’re NOT alone! You’re normal!

Not what you thought you’d read? Let me say it again…You’re Normal.

Exhale.

No one has it all figured out…so what makes you think you have to have it all figured out?

No one is confident 100% of the time…so what makes you think you’re going to be confident all of the time?

You’re human.

Full stop. Even the high profile, “have your shit together professionals?” Human. And, because of this - spoiler alert here - you’re going to feel all of the human emotions that come up in life. All of them. Whether you choose to explore them is a different story.

Losing track of your confidence? Not seeing your choices, or recognizing your value and what you bring to the table? Getting caught up in other people’s opinions of you? I’m sure you could add a few of your own to the list…

You’re not alone!

Even the most powerful, high level, badass professionals experience these feelings from time to time. This is universal. Absolutely no one escapes this. Sorry.

What can you do?

That’s where I come in. Having those feelings from time to time IS normal. Staying in those feelings is optional.

You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

I RECONNECT WOMEN with their CONFIDENCE and there’s nothing more POWERFUL than a WOMAN with CONFIDENCE!

Not feeling confident?

Is it time for a break up?

Time to check in...

The most important relationship you're ever going to have, is with yourself. Full stop. Start paying attention to yourself, and the beliefs or behaviours you've been hanging on to that are no longer serving you.

Your beliefs...even the good ones, limit you. Think about it. That's what beliefs do, this is their purpose. They set boundaries and direct your focus, which narrows it, potentially excluding other information that's available out there for you.  When you check in and explore some of your beliefs, you're going to find that they may not be yours at all. Your entire life you've been influenced by others, that's pretty normal, maybe those "beliefs"  are stopping you from growth, or aren't really resonating for you anymore.

Maybe it's time to check in and ask yourself ...is it time to break up with this belief?

Maybe you haven't had to consider this idea...yet.  That's great!  You've probably done a good job of sorting through what's yours and what's not, so far.  For the rest of you...I see you. This is an ongoing process. You may only notice when these beliefs start to get in the way of your potential and growth.  That's when exploration is a good idea. 

When something is standing between you, and what you're truly capable of, that's when it's time to question.  It's only through this questioning and exploration that you can release the beliefs that may not actually be yours, and learn to embrace what truly works for you.


Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Check in with yourself this week.  What 'belief" do you have that's standing in your way?

• What's the benefit of having this belief?  Usually, deep down, there's been some sort of benefit.

• Every time it comes up, ask yourself: is this really what I believe, or what I've been told to believe?

• When this belief is no longer true for me;  what possibilities become available for me? 

Need help sorting this out? Contact me  Let's get you clear on YOUR skills, strengths and capabilities so you can be the confident person you were born to be!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Is it time for a break up?

Persistence will pay off...

..ask any three year old!

You don't have to be a parent to understand this one...you were a three year old once!

My neighbour is babysitting her grandchildren, and one of them just happens to be three years old.  As my neighbour chats to me, the three year old tugs on her sleeve, determined to get her attention.  It works.  Three year old kids have a knack for NOT giving up.  They know what they want and they get laser focused on it.  A skill you could use perhaps?

Persistence is what's necessary when you think you've exhausted all options.  It's staying "with it" when others would typically give up.  Quite simply, it's taking the things you do consistently and being persistent about them.

Remember consistency?  Showing up and doing the work - it pays off in the long run.  How exactly do you keep doing the work, especially when you may not feel like doing it?  That's where being persistent comes in. Taking those habits you've honed and continuing to do them...no matter what.  Keeping your eye on the prize, and getting back on track when you drift.  Knowing that the detour is part of it, and sometimes necessary. 

Sometimes, taking a conscious break is actually part of the process, and what fuels the next leg of the journey. It could be exactly what you need to reenergize and get going again!

Where could you use a nudge to get back to that thing you want? You still want it, right?


Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Channel your inner three year old!

Check in with yourself, maybe on one specific goal you're working towards, and ask yourself the following:

• Am I giving up too soon?

• Channel your inner three year old - how might they advise you?

• What might be possible if you kept at it for just a little longer?

• Could taking a break be exactly what you need to get the energy to keep going?

Trust your inner three year old and channel that persistence!

Need a reminder of all of your skills, strengths and capabilities? Contact me  They're all still there. I promise.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Persistence will pay off…

What can you learn on a "seedy" train ride?

You’d be surprised…

Part of my "pause and reflect" theme for the summer.  Here's another throwback.

I'm having more and more conversations where the theme seems to be the longing for connection, sprinkled with hesitation.  Maybe you can relate? I found this blog from 2018 and thought I'd tweak it and put it out there again for you.  The lessons are still pertinent.  Enjoy!

~~~~

The thing that seems to be coming up again and again?  A deep yearning for actual "connection". The kind you get with actual people: friends, partners, colleagues etc. and not the Instagram/Facebook/Zoom kind. I'm talking the real, flesh and blood kind. Face to face. No distractions. So the question is, when was the last time you were "present" for anyone, yourself included? Until you understand that connection and presence starts with you, yourself, and your situation, you're really not equipped to offer it to others. Connection begins with presence. The ability to be with what is.

Here's an actual experience I had in Italy almost four years ago! 

I'm on a train, travelling from Sorrento to Napoli. I'm on a train and not the fancy kind. Rather, the kind I was warned about prior to my trip. The kind where I was told to bring wipes and sanitizer for my hands. (Such irony here!). Where the AC is opening the windows, and the “advertising” on the walls is graffiti. That kind of train.

I settle into my seat and start to read a book.

Several stops in, a couple of local musicians get on the train.  A saxophonist and an accordion player. They begin to play and I continue with my face in my book. Ironically,  a book about being present in the moment...
I notice the irony of the situation and put my book down.  I close my eyes and proceed to "experience " the moment.  I can hear the music more clearly now. I feel the breeze from the window and I am swaying in my seat as the train speeds along. I become totally immersed in what's going on. And then it happens.  I am completely overwhelmed with the absolute beauty of the experience. All my senses are fully engaged in the moment. True presence.  It brings  me to tears. I let the tears stream down my face and savour that as well.

Then it's over.

Being in the moment. Pure and simple. The power was immense, and now I have a beautiful memory to tap into, to remind me of the gift of presence.

So, how do you bring more presence into your world?  Especially when you're in the thick of things.

• Being conscious about doing it first of all.

• For me, it's remembering that the whole experience was maybe 3 to 5 minutes tops, and how often do I find myself with a couple of minutes in my day? 

• How many of you have 3 to 5 minutes between a meeting, or a phone call where you could sit and just “be”.  Wherever that may be?

• Maybe you can go back to visit an experience that brought you a gift that you could use in that moment. 

• That gift might be:  patience, clarity, calm, or a little escape to a trip you once took.  Try it next time you have a few minutes and see what opens up for you.

• Then, maybe, start extending that same "gift" of presence to those around you - just a couple of minutes, with your eyes away from your phone/computer/TV or whatever distraction is in front of you. Give your full, undivided attention. Notice what changes in you, and the other person when you do this. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Grazie Italia.

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

The slower, lazy days of summer are the perfect time for reflection.

The next time you find yourself with a couple of minutes, turn inwards and take a few deep breaths.  Notice any sensations you may be feeling in your body; listen to any sounds that may be going on around you, near or far; if you have your eyes open, take in all of the scenery around you (even if you're in your home office).  Really make the experience vivid. So vivid that you could call it back another time to enjoy. Then, slowly, gently, ease yourself back into your day.

Are you ready to take a time-out to assess where you're at? Contact me  and we'll get you clear...

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

What can you learn on a “seedy” train ride?