Are you hitting the wall?

Now what?

If you've ever participated in any endurance sport like cycling or running, you know all about hitting the wall. Hitting the wall is a thing in real life too.  The difference?  Whether you run or cycle, as a trained athlete, you know that you have to be prepared so you don't "hit the wall".  That  preparation may include a proper plan that encompasses; training, nutrition and rest, to name a few things. This is important leading up to the event and, probably, most important, on the day of the event. Fuelling at just the right time, pacing yourself and listening to your body, which may mean walking for a minute here and there.

Seems to make sense, doesn't it?

But what usually happens in "real life" when someone's hitting a wall?  Sometimes, they're told to "push through" or worse, they tell themselves to do that. It may sound like: "I'll stop (fill in the blank here) once I/they, (fill in the blank)".  Or, maybe this is your rendition of it: "It's only for another three months, six months" etc. Muscling through and not paying attention to the signs until, well, wall.
 
What can you do?

Prevention is always best however, if it's too late for that, and you find that you're hitting a wall, read on...

As you approach the end of the year, so many things can pile up and lead to overwhelm and ultimately, hitting a wall of some sort.  Awareness is information, a chance to "call it", before it gets out of hand. When you're able to recognize the signs for yourself, you'll be able to put some tactics in place to manage.

Good athletes know their limits, they're able to recognize where their wall is and train accordingly to be able to cope when they see it coming. They have their toolkit ready to go.

For non-athletes?

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Before you hit a wall:

Develop a coping strategy. 

What do you know you need when you're feeling overwhelmed? Make a list before you're in the situation. It might mean taking an hour for yourself to regroup. 

If you find yourself at a point where you are hitting a wall, it's good to be able to recognize that it's happening and then:

Stop:

Recognize the signs and stop. Take a breath and ask yourself: What do I need now? 

An athlete may decide that they need some water or fuel or they need to walk for a few minutes.  What do you need?

Reassess:

After you figure out what you need and take steps to get it, check in. 

An athlete will decide their next steps. Maybe they change their pace or schedule a fuel break to prevent the wall from coming again. What can you incorporate in to your plan to prevent another wall coming at you?

Get a different perspective: 

An athlete may check in with their coach or trainer for some perspective. For you? Maybe it means having a conversation with your boss, your partner, best friend or someone else you trust.

Recalibrate:

Once you've taken the time to stop, assess and get a different perspective, where do you want to go now? Sometimes, the break is enough for you to see things more clearly.  You may notice that when you're rested and have a new perspective, there's a door that was always just over there, right beside the wall... 

Ready to be more intentional with your time and energy? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Warmly,

Ann

Are you hitting the wall?

Not feeling it? You're not alone...

How are you doing? No, really. How are you doing?

It's that time of year. The time when the pressure is starting to build. Invitations are starting to come for events that you haven't been to for a couple of years; year end goals coming to the finishing point, preparations for the holidays...basically doing stuff.  This, all while, the days are shorter and colder, and the motivation or desire to do something is dwindling.  

What can you do?

Maybe getting in touch with how you feel, what your priorities are, and how you want to show up, is exactly what you need. Especially when you're finding that you don't have the bandwidth for everything coming at you. Getting clear on what your needs are is going to set you up to make sure you're taking care of you, first. Not selfish by the way, rather, when you're clear on where you're coming from and taking care of you, you're more likely to bring out the best in others too.

The following five questions take only minutes to answer and are a great way to set you up for a more intentional day. One where you're establishing your baseline. Taking the few minutes for you WILL make a difference in how you show up...promise.

So - here they are - actually in order because it does make a difference. Do this first thing in the morning before you start your day.

1. I am (feeling)? Just notice without judgement. It’s information. Is it determined, sad, joyful, tired, happy etc.? Check in.

2. I want…? Let whatever pops into your head be the thing that you'll focus on for the day. It won't necessarily be a huge thing and, it probably came up for a reason.

3. I choose to…? This is an action step - you can’t get what you want without deciding that you'll do something. Something will usually bubble up that will support you in getting what you want.

4. I ask for…? For some, this could be a request to their God, guide, source or it could be an actual person that you want to ask something of.

5. I am grateful for….? There seems to be a lot of evidence that suggests gratitude is a way to live a happier life. Pick one thing. If you're having a difficult time, it could be the bed and pillow you have or the good cup of coffee you had yesterday. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. Oh yeah, and if more than one thing comes up feel free to write that down too!

If you feel like you're ready to pack it in for the winter and hibernate, try this out! It takes maybe 5 minutes maximum, usually much less, and, it really will make a difference in how you approach your day - with some focus and clarity.

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Try the above questions for at least seven days - before you get your day going - see what changes for you.
 

Feeling overwhelmed with the year end bustle? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Warmly,

Ann

Not feeling it? You’re not alone…

This may be a little late, but...

Maybe it's time to change it up?

You wouldn't put your flip flops on to go skiing. You probably aren't wearing your T-Shirt outside right now; and, some of you have switched out your regular tires for winter tires. 

This doesn't mean that the flipflops, t-shirt, or regular tires are faulty, it just means that maybe they aren't useful for the season you're in right now.   So why would you continue to utilize the same tools to solve different challenges?

It's pretty normal to fall back on tried and true tools; you probably have your "go to" tools, habitual ways of being and thinking.  Have you noticed that maybe those tools aren't working anymore? The thing about habitually approaching situations in the same way is that, eventually, you're going to narrow your options.  

When you only have one tool in your toolkit you're greatly reducing your choices. If all you have is a hammer, you're going to tend to start treating everything like a nail. Not practical or useful.

What tool(s) are you using that may not be useful for the season you're in? 

Maybe you need a new approach?

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Think about a situation you're facing right now. Before you start down your regular path to handle it, maybe consider the following suggestions:

• How would someone you respect approach this?

• How would someone who challenges you look at this situation?

• How would your best friend address this type of situation?

• Think of one other person, even a fictional one, and ask yourself how would they approach this situation?

Your old tools aren't going anywhere, you'll eventually be wearing your flipflops and t-shirt again, just not now. For now, what if you try something new out? You may be pleasantly surprised! 

Is it time to restock your toolkit? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

This may be a little late, but…

Don't look now but...

It's that time of the year...

Have you looked at your calendar recently?  It's happening...2023 is on the heels of 2022 and moving in quickly. You're on the home stretch.

When you hear that, how do you feel?  A sense of relief; a sense of urgency; or are you happily cruising along, knowing that you're going to meet your goals? Or maybe you're working on longer term goals where the end of the year doesn't signify completion for you.

The final achievement is a sweet moment, a chance to relive the story that got you there. It's a trophy moment, the final marker, and while special, what's probably more useful is to check in and take stock of what it took for you to get as far as you have. This is especially important if you're working on long term goals, where the end of the year may not signify completion for you. 

Think about one goal you know you'll achieve in 2022.

At some point, you started with an endpoint in mind, something you wanted. You didn’t have to know every step, it started with the first one. It was all about setting the wheels in motion and, as you continued to take steps, the compass may have started to shift and lead you somewhere else. 

Notice the feeling of progress as you moved towards your goal. It’s the working towards something that gives you a purpose, not the completion. Reaching your goals gives you a chance to notice the patterns that emerge when you’re working hard towards something you want. Noticing the things that got you stuck, and what skills or resources you drew upon to get going again.

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Wherever you are right now, here are a few things to consider as you approach the finish line of 2022.

• Are you where you thought you'd be when you set out in January?

• If you were going to tell a story about how you got to where you are now, what kind of story would it be?

• Are you satisfied with how the story played out?

• If not, are you further along; behind; or did you course correct and decide that the goal you had wasn't important anymore? Just notice.

If your goal is a long-term one, remember to stop and look around every now and then and savour all of the experiences that present themselves. Celebrate the small victories along the way. This will provide the fuel to keep going. At the end of the day, it's the experiences along the way that make it worthwhile. 

Need some help on the home stretch? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Don’t look now but…

Is it time to let that sh*t go?

What are you hanging on to?

Nature is a natural at letting go, releasing what it doesn’t need anymore. Just take a look around, most trees are now leaf free. There's a whole symbiotic relationship between trees and their leaves.

There're several reasons why deciduous trees lose their leaves**: 

• It means the tree spends less energy through the harsh winter

• It conserves moisture within the trunk and keeps it from drying out

• It allows wind to blow through the branches, putting less strain on the tree

In other words, it becomes more about the tree then the leaves, and the tree naturally lets them go. It’s not personal, it’s survival. Doing what's best for itself.

Then why is it so hard for humans? Mostly because: You’re full of emotions which come into play when you’re making a decision to move forward that's in your best interest.

Why are you hanging on?

Do you have something hanging around in the back of your mind that's holding you back, weighing you down, or getting in the way of building your confidence?

Here are some things that you may want to consider letting go of:
 

• Beliefs.

  • Maybe you have some beliefs that you're hanging on to that aren't actually yours? Think about it, most of your beliefs have been formed through time, starting with your parents, moving to teachers and other early influencers and then, friend groups, professional groups etc. All serve(d) a purpose at one time. Before you listen to that little voice in your head, just make sure it's yours. Other voices can sneak into your head and sound a lot like yours. You can carry a whole choir in there. Pay attention. Is there a belief you've been carrying around that isn't even yours? Let it go...

• Other people's opinions.

  • Are you worrying about what others may be thinking about you and the decisions you're making? Newsflash... they're too busy worrying about their own stuff! As humans we are wired for connection and belonging. It's part of our biology and it feels safe. Going against the pack can feel scary, even if it's for very good reasons. That's why you can put too much importance on what others think. Let that sh*t go!

• Expectations.

  • Maybe it's an expectation you have of yourself? It's easy to cut others some slack, however, when it comes to yourself...often, the bar gets set in a different place, and it's usually higher. It's okay for others to take a break but for some reason this doesn't seem to apply to you. Let go of those unreasonable expectations...

• Fear.

  • Why do you hold onto things despite being miserable or knowing that there's something else better out there for you? FEAR. Because of that reptilian brain of yours, you're more likely to hang onto something because it's familiar. Even when you know letting go of the fear and taking action would open up new opportunities. Your brain likes familiar AND it can hold you back from growing.

By letting something go, you open up space for something else to come in. Maybe something that's been at the back of your mind that you've been ruling out, an idea or a perspective that you haven’t considered in a while or perhaps, it's opening up space to explore something completely new.


Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Think of a situation where you're feeling ready to move forward, ready to grow. Ready to test out letting something go. It doesn't have to be something big, just something that's been "niggling" at you and perhaps taking up a little more bandwidth then you'd like it to.

Now consider which of the above scenarios may be at play here:

• Your beliefs.

  • Is it a way of thinking that's getting in your way?

• Other People's Opinions

  • Are you giving too much weight to someone else's opinion?

• Expectations.

  • Are the expectations you're putting on yourself realistic? Are they yours or are you trying to please/impress someone else?

• Fear.

  • Is it worth hanging on to this situation or taking one step to change it?

• Is the cost worth it?

  • Just like the trees and their leaves, there comes a time when the benefit of having or doing something is not worth it anymore. By letting go of this thing, what are you doing for yourself?

Are you ready to let something go? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

** https://forestryandland.gov.scot/

Is it time to let that sh*t go?

You love problems...I know...

What's the problem with talking about your problems?  

Oh do you love talking about your problems!!  Why? Firstly? You're human, and, sometimes, it's more dramatic and interesting to stay there, then to do something about it. This is exactly what keeps you stuck in the problem.

When you focus on the problem, you're still in the problem, and that's not a very useful place to be if you're actually interested in solving it.

When you're in a situation where you have a dilemma, the last thing you need to do is sit with someone else who's gonna help you dig deeper into the issue -you already know what it is, that's been established.  What you might need most, is to step away for a while, to sit somewhere else, to start thinking about solutions. Because you can't solve a problem from within a problem. 

Acknowledging your situation matters, but don't unpack your bags and set up camp there! There's a solution, and having a sounding board, rather than a commiserating committee is going to be a more productive use of your time.

I recently had a conversation with a musician/songwriter and what he said really struck a chord (that pun was not intended!) with me. When he's stuck on the lyrics for a song he's writing (the dilemma) he will often go outside for a walk. The interesting thing?  He said every single time, bar none, he comes up with a lyric that was the right one for his particular song. An example of where walking away from your problem may help provide the solution to it!  When you're moving forward physically, your brain can't help but move forward as well.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Think about a problem you're dealing with right now:

• Staying in the problem is not where you're gonna find the solutions.

  • Remember a time in the past when you had a similar problem and you were able to solve it. This is a great way to tap into some skills, strengths or capabilities that you used in the past to solve a problem that may be useful in this current situation. Even if it's an entirely different situation, there may be some information there that enlightens you. 

• You need to find the benefit of staying in the problem.

  • Sounds weird, however there's often an underlying benefit to staying in it. Maybe it's the safety of staying with the known versus exploring the unknown. Much like any habit that you continue to do that you don't like, you're getting some kind of benefit out of it.  Don't judge it, get curious here.

• Your problem is a problem, however, there are glimpses of times when it's not.

  • Maybe you got distracted and forgot about it for a moment? Try to focus on those glimpses, those moments when things are going well, and notice: What is it about those moments that makes them go well? What can you tap into that's working for you? Focus on that. If you take the time to focus on when things are going well, you're more likely to start getting the clues to solve your problem.

Are you ready to start looking for solutions? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

You love your problems….I know…

Driver's seat, or shotgun?

Ever called "shotgun!" to claim the front passenger seat in a car? Many people are familiar with the term "riding shotgun".  In modern use, it refers to the practice of sitting alongside the driver in a moving vehicle. The second chair or assistant role. Important for navigation, and maybe some influence on the whole driving experience.

How about the driver's seat? When you say that someone is in the "driver's seat" you're suggesting that they are in control of the situation.

When you're in the driver's seat, you need to focus your attention on looking forward to see where you're going: You have a destination. When you're shotgun, it's less critical that you focus anywhere in particular. You have the freedom to look around and get the lay of the land. There's less responsibility and ultimately, less control, on the outcome of the ride. There are advantages to both of these perspectives.

Shotgun? There's much less participation and accountability. Driver's seat? A much more active role. You have to be alert, know where you want to go, and take the steps to do so. This may mean making a plan, having a map, or maybe having someone ride along with you to help you navigate. 

Is there a situation where you're riding shotgun when you should be in the driver's seat? Just check in. It's okay to ride shotgun sometimes. Being in the passenger seat definitely has its benefits.  It gives you a chance to relax a bit, and, if you stay there too long, you may start to zone out and forget where you're going. On the other hand, being in the driver's seat has many advantages: you get to set your direction, call all of the shots...own your experience fully.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

It's okay to take your hands off the wheel and let someone else drive every now and then. Maybe right now is one of those times for you. Cool.

It's also important to recognize when you've been coasting too long in the passenger seat. 

For this week, check in. Is there a situation where it's time to switch seats? 

Are you ready to get in the driver's seat again? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Driver’s seat or shotgun?

When you turn the corner...

Remember to take a look back...

So you're over the hump? You got the job, ended the relationship, bought the house or, maybe, you finally had the courage to move on. Before you forget about it, take some time to reflect.  It's so easy to move forward and quickly lose the opportunity to gain some useful information about yourself.

As you take some time to reflect, here are some things to notice about yourself  that you may find useful:

• What behaviours did you do that lead you to turn the corner? 

  • Take some time to really notice from the beginning of the situation, until the moment that you made the decision to do something about it: How were you behaving?

• What skills, strengths, or capabilities did you draw on to reach this point?

  •  Seeing other people's skills and strengths is quite easy; they're as plain as day to you.  It's easy to miss your own, and that's why this self-reflection exercise is useful. Really be honest with yourself.

• Notice what actions you took.

  • They say that nothing changes, if nothing changes, in this case...you!  So notice, what did you do that moved the needle forward here? It might have been something subtle, or it could have been one of those AHA moments that propelled you forward.  Find out.

• What did you believe about yourself or maybe the situation itself, that drove you to do those actions?
  

  • Maybe not obvious (and this is why you're doing this reflection!).  Check in here. Your beliefs are there to limit you. They tend to set boundaries for what you’re open to, and, when they shift, they can allow something different in. What happened here?

• Who were you being when you did this?

  • This isn't a woo woo question! Maybe you were being your teenaged self, the one who took risks and didn't worry about what others thought. Or, maybe you were reminded of a previous time in your life when you took a leap, or made a big decision. Whatever comes to mind here, it's not uncommon to lose track of who you can be. 

Okay. Now that you've reflected on this event that happened. What's different when you think about it?  Allow something to float into your mind.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

When you're faced with a situation where you feel like you're ready to finally "turn the corner":

• Check in with how you're currently behaving. What could you be doing differently?

• Remember that you have a plethora of skills, strengths and capabilities. Find at least one to tap into.

• Take action. Enough said here.

• What do you believe is possible for you in this situation?

• How are you going to be?  Reacquaint yourself with the version of yourself that maybe you've lost track of...they're still there!

Are you ready to turn the corner? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

When you turn the corner…remember to take a look back.

Have you been thrown a curveball?

Things don't always go as planned, that's for sure.  Life's going to throw you some curve balls, it's what you do next that counts.  Sounds sooo easy when you read it, doesn't it.  Just deal.

After not quite two weeks since my wrist injury, I am appreciating that life's most valuable lessons aren't going to be in a video or podcast. Nope, they're often presented as unexpected curveballs.  So here's the learning so far...in no particular order, and honouring the fact that although my two finger typing is improving, this is going to be brief!  Take from this what you need in a current situation you may be facing.  Curveballs come in many different shapes and sizes.


Things to accept:

• Your gonna need help (yikes). Ask for it.  Not something many of you may be used to. Receive it with gratitude.

• Letting go of control and the way it's supposed to be, because, at least for now, it's not.  

• Doing one thing at a time. Surprisingly difficult!

Things to learn:

• When you're feeling shitty, don't unpack your bags and live there, pick yourself up, take the next best step and keep going.

• It really does make a difference when you realize you're working towards something and, it's going to get better.  

• Although you may not like asking for help...people really do love to help!

Looking ahead:

• Curveballs are there to knock you off your feet, sometimes literally, and they're a way to redirect you.

• They aren't permanent but the lessons you learn can be.

• When you reflect on your situation, in time, you're going to understand why it happened and possibly, be glad it did.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Are you dealing with the aftermath of a curveball?

• What can you accept about it?

• Where's the lesson for you moving forward?

• What if you look forward six months or so...what might you be seeing then?

As you recover, remember: No matter what you're working on, it's not going to happen overnight, it's going to happen over time. Maybe read that again.

Want to build your confidence? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Have you been thrown a curveball?

Did you fall down?

It happens. One minute you're on your feet, feeling good, doing your thing, and then whoosh...

I recently had a real fall that landed me with a broken radius and a whole lotta of learning; some painful, literally and figuratively. I couldn't help but see the parallels between a physical fall and a metaphorical fall and the relationship with building your confidence. This is going to be short and to the point. Two finger typing takes skill!!
 

When you fall down, what matters most is what you do next.

So you tried that thing and it didn't go so well. What now?

• Take a breath, maybe look around at your surroundings and assess the situation. It usually isn't as bad as you think it is.

• Shake it off. Everyone messes up when they're trying a new skill. Cut yourself some slack.

• Look back at what happened. What went wrong? What's one small tweak you could make for next time?

• Do it again!

Confidence is a skill, it's not a personality trait or something you're born with. That's good news! Like any other skill, with practice, over time, you'll get better and better at that thing you're working on. You'll wake up one day and realize that you're just doing that thing, without even thinking about it anymore.  Kind of like walking. 

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...
 

If you're building your confidence in one particular skill set, in addition to the tips above, it's often useful to remind yourself of a time in the past when you did something new.  Going back to a real experience and taking the learnings from it can build your confidence for the new situation.  It's a great reminder that you can do new things. You've built your confidence before, you can do it again!

Want to build your confidence? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Did you fall down?