It's not you...it's your habits...

Happy End of January! It's been a long one.

Did you know that by the 32nd day of the year, ~80% of people who make "New Year's resolutions" have given up on them?

Maybe you're one of them?

If so, don't be so hard on yourself, you're clearly not alone

Why do so many people give up on their resolutions?  There are probably a multitude of reasons and what may be the most powerful is, your current habits.

The things you do on autopilot without giving them a thought. Those things.  All habits or behaviours serve a purpose for you which is why it can be so difficult to make a change.

Your brain in particular is a fan of habits.  While you do things automatically, it's quite happy to go along and do it's job of keeping you alive.  It's not interested in the least in you making any changes.  Hence...the difficulties you can face when you want to make changes...even if they're for very good reasons.  Your brain is going to make it difficult for you. 

Difficult? Yes.  Impossible? No. 

Have you already given up on your "resolution"? Or, maybe you don't make resolutions, but you've had a time in the past where you've stopped pursuing something because it felt like an uphill battle? There's hope for you. 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Habits are strong. You have to find the benefit of doing what you're currently doing, or not doing (that you say you want to do).  There's always a benefit. Humans don't do something repeatedly without a benefit.

• Let's say that the habit that's getting in the way of doing what you say you want to do is procrastination. 

• Ask yourself:
  

  • What are the benefits of procrastination?  Yes...there are benefits. Maybe you get a break, or you can avoid doing something.  Or, you get time to think. There's something there for sure.

• Now ask yourself:
  

  • How else could I get these benefits? 

  • See what comes up for you. Maybe it's about scheduling in regular breaks in your day.

Take an example of your own and do the exercise above.

Once you are able to identify the benefit of the habit or behaviour that's getting in your way, you can begin to think about what else you could do that would be a more useful way for you to get the same benefit.  This, in and of itself, will make your pursuit of that change you want to make so much easier.

What else may be getting in your way?

• What's your "why" for this resolution or goal?

  • Make sure it's yours. Not something someone else thinks you should want. Your "why"  is what will pull you forward. You need to remember why you wanted to make that change in the first place.

• How are you framing it? It matters. For example:

  • Instead of saying you want less stress, ask yourself: What do I want more of? What do I want instead?

• You don't have a strategy in place for when things get difficult:

  • It could be as simple as saying: If xxx happens, then I will do yyy - and practicing it so you're ready when the time comes.

Be consistent. Be persistent. The key to success is in taking small steps daily.

If you're ready to give it another shot Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Warmly,
Ann

It’s not you…it’s your habits

Feeling meh? You’re not alone…

Meh...

I had a full blog post ready to go for this week and then I remembered a conversation I had with a new connection of mine, Mikayla Stechnicki*, who happens to be an expert in digital communications (and an all around great young woman), and her feedback - be authentic, be you. 

Those of you who now me well, know that I am an optimistic person for sure, and today, I'm just feeling "meh".  Probably one grey day too many.  

How about you?  How are you coping with what seems to be a very loonng and grey January? 

You're not alone. 

Here's what I'm learning:

• By acknowledging and feeling the crappy feelings I can actually do something about them.**

• The acknowledgement actually helps me to make a plan for how I want to move forward.

• Other people appreciate being seen - no one feels 100% great all of the time and me sharing my experience may be just the thing that someone else needs to hear.

• Being more human and vulnerable is where I want to head.

How about you?  How are you doing? Please know that you can Contact me anytime for a chat.

In the meantime....

Let's get to it...

Your challenge this week...

When you get "one of those days" (we ALL do!), here are some things that I've found work for me.  Maybe one or two of them will resonate for you.  I encourage you to Contact me with any tips you may have!

• Acknowledge how you're feeling.

  • Rather than avoiding those yucky feelings, actually say out loud "I'm having a shitty day", or whatever you would say.

• Ask yourself, "what do I need right now"?

  • Let whatever comes up for you be the thing.  It could be a conversation with someone; some time alone, or maybe a nice cup of tea.  You do you.

• Do something nice for someone else.

  • This is one of my personal favourites - sending a text to someone you haven't seen in a while actually will make you feel good. It's science, the hit of dopamine you get from sending it and then, receiving the response.

• Get moving!

  • I honestly cannot highlight this one enough!  Put some music on that you like and dance, or get outside for a walk. Tell yourself you'll do five minutes and I can pretty much guarantee, you'll do more.

So what does this have to do with the coaching I do?  When you're confident, you don't let fear stop you from being you!

Here's to more sunshine in the coming days!

Warmly,
Ann

If you're feeling meh  Contact me  Let's catch up!

*Founder & Lead Consultant at Explore Digital https://exploredigitalcommunications.ca/

**if it's not, reach out to your health care professional.

Feeling meh? You’re not alone…

Remember YOLO?

Remember late 2011, early 2012?   Drake's*  song "The Motto"  came out with the reference to "You Only Live Once" (YOLO), and it became part of the vernacular of youth and beyond. It's not that the acronym didn't exist prior to that, it's just that this song catapulted it to the forefront. 

You Only Live Once...YOLO

The gist? An attitude of "life's short so, why not"?  Take chances, say yes, don't overthink it. Just go for it.  

There's definitely a place for this, and yet, there's another way to look at it as well...

What if you think of YOLO as a decision to make a commitment to something long term?  Making a plan for something you want, and sticking to it rather than the "fear of missing out" attitude typically associated with YOLO.

Maybe you've been wanting to do something. It's big and you're waiting because  of...whatever excuse you've created.  It's still January, a New Year, setting goals and making plans.  What if, this year, you made a decision to commit to something you've been wanting for a long time?  Maybe you've  been wanting to start a new career;  turn that side hustle into your full time gig; write a book; be in the best health of your life etc.

Think about it...these are YOLO things too.

The difference? They're going to require making a choice to commit to a decision and a long term plan, rather than getting instant gratification. Time has a funny way of ticking away regardless of the action you do, or don't take. Take that in.  "Waiting until" creates only one thing down the road, the likelihood that you won't do "it" and ultimately - regret.  Don't take my word for it, Daniel Pink** wrote an entire book about regrets.  Suffice it to say that people regret what they don't do, not taking a chance and potentially failing at something they want to do.

With this in mind, what's the thing you've been holding off on? YOLO after all...


Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Take some time to think about the big thing that you've been wanting. You know what it is.  It's that thing that's never far from your thoughts.

With YOLO in mind:

• Make the decision. 

  • Go, or no go?

  • Really think about it.

• No go?

  • Double check. Are you sure?

  • If so, let it go.

• Go?

  • Then start to work on a plan to make it happen.

  •  Choose one step to get started. It could be declaring your intention to someone you trust.

• Look ahead to New Year's Eve 2023.

  • No, really, take a minute to do this.

  • Look back and see all of the progress you've made by committing to a decision, and taking action.

YOLO. As far as I know, this is true.  What do you want to look back on? Regrets, or the satisfaction of knowing you took a chance, whether it worked out or not? At least you'll know.

If you're ready to take your first step Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Warmly,
Ann

Remember YOLO?

Could you use an epiphany?

It's early in January...apparently a good time for an epiphany...

What's an epiphany anyway?

• It's typically a moment in life when things change, often in a heartbeat and nothing's ever the same again.

• It usually comes from an observation from outside of you or your regular circle. That moment when someone says something that lands with you in a way that changes your previous thinking about a situation.

• It could be a result of an “oh shit” moment, a moment that blindsides you and changes everything.

• It's a swift insight that all of a sudden, provides clarity.

• Once you have one...everything changes. 

An AHA moment.

An epiphany or “wake up” call doesn’t sneak up on you, it's a whoosh…and all of a sudden, things will never be the same. It's that kind of experience, a moment that can knock the wind out of you and leave you breathless. It can also be the moment that propels you to the next amazing chapter in your life. Regardless, it's a “call to action". Now what?

Want to plan your own epiphany?


Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Here's a cool exercise* to do for a situation where you’re feeling frustrated or discouraged, a situation where a different perspective is exactly what you need.  Maybe read through first and then take it step by step.  No pen or paper required, just a willingness to use your imagination.

Think about the situation you're in where you're feeling frustrated or discouraged.

• Now think of a person who challenges you - whatever that means for you.

  • Trust who comes to mind.  Now, imagine what their perspective on this situation you're in might be. Take your time.

• Now think of a person you respect (they don't have to be alive).

  • Trust who came to mind, that brain doesn't give you random stuff. Imagine what this person's perspective might be on the situation you're in.

• Now think of someone who loves you. 

  • What might be this person's perspective on your frustrating or discouraging situation?

• Finally, think of that situation again and notice: What's different now that you have this new perspective? 

  • Sometimes the "Aha" isn't huge, it's simply a new viewpoint that you didn't have before. 

  • How does your situation feel less frustrating or discouraging when you add this information?

Could you use an epiphany? Contact me  

Warmly,
Ann

Could you use an epiphany? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

*Exercise from NLP Canada Training

Could you use an epiphnay?

The time will come when the time has come...

Happy New Year!

The perfect time for new beginnings...or is it?  There's research that starting new things is not just reserved for a New Year, though it is traditionally the most compelling time to make a change.

Not feeling it? Cool.  Wait until next Monday, or the first day of next month, or first thing in the morning...it's all about firsts, beginnings.

Regardless, the time is going to come when, the time has come. Whatever that means for you.  Maybe, you know exactly what this means and, you've been waiting. 

You can relax. You're normal.

When you're ready to make a change, fear and self-doubt will often creep in.  It's not your fault,  it's normal. Your brain has one job to do: keep you alive. That's it. That's why anytime you want to make a change, even for good reasons, it freaks out. You making a change means that it has to work harder to keep you safe, and, well, it's lazy. It likes to put everything you do on autopilot so it can conserve energy to scan for danger.  

Although this autopilot kept our ancestors alive, the things you want to do are probably not going to put you in danger. That's unless fear of failure, embarrassment, or being a beginner again qualify here. And face it, your brain actually treats them that way, even though it's completely untrue. 

What if you did capitalize on the energy of a New Year to fuel your fire to start that thing you’ve been putting off?


Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Whether it's now, next week, or next month...take some time to think about that thing you want. You know, the thing you're putting on the back burner until "when". It's probably at the forefront of your thoughts all of the time. It will continue to get louder as time moves along. What you avoid will continue to pop up. Maybe it's time to give it the consideration it deserves?

Find a quiet space where you won't be disturbed. Then, ask yourself the following questions and take the time to explore what comes up for you (as always, I encourage you to actually write the answers on a piece of paper):

• Is this really something that you want to do/have or be?

  • Sometimes you can put something off and then realize that you don't actually want it, OR, this may give you the clarity to realize that YES, you do want it. 

• What story is holding you back?

  • Pay attention. The "story" is often rooted in fear...

• Fast forward five years.

  • What do you want to look back on? Regrets or action?

• The time will pass anyway.

  • Fact. Knowing this, what's the first step you'll take to move towards that thing that you want?

You can think about what you want, talk about what you want, dream about what you want, but until you take action, it will remain a thought.

Warmly,
Ann

If you're ready to take the first step Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

The time will come when the time has come…then what?

It's tradition...before you move on to 2023...

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Semisonic

Simple, yet such a powerful way to sum up how life goes. Sometimes in order to move on, you have to leave something behind.

It's almost New Year's Eve and the countdown is on... 

This is a great time of year to reflect: Say goodbye to things that are no longer useful; recognize things to hang on to; and, to welcome new possibilities. 

New beginnings, cleaning the slate, starting over...just a few of the ways some people refer to a New Year. While cleaning the slate and starting fresh may sound appealing, there may be a few things you want to hang on to. 

Here’s a quick practice, it doesn't take a lot of time and, you may be surprised by what pops up for you. The key here is to let what bubbles up be the answer, no second guessing... trust your brain! Then get curious after.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

You're definitely going to want to grab a piece of paper and something to write with...

Your challenge for the next couple of days? Take some time to explore these questions:

What am I ready to leave behind?

What better time than the end of a year to ask yourself this question? You carry so many things with you year over year, maybe it's time to leave behind the things that are keeping you stuck, or holding you back. Perhaps its a relationship you've outgrown, a habit or feeling that you’re done with, an attitude, or even a tangible "thing"? Just notice what comes to mind for you.

What do I want to keep?

While setting new goals is always exciting, it's important to remember some of the stuff that you already have that's pretty great. Stuff you want to keep. Relationships, health, friendships, work, useful practices that you do etc. Or maybe something new that you started this year that you want to carry forward? 

What do I want to add or have more of in 2023?

While "adding" always sounds good, you may already have some things in your life that you just want more of - family and friend time, me time...you get the idea here. Maybe you want to start a new thing? Perhaps it's about having more choices in a current situation. Whatever surfaces for you, take note.

What have I put on hold that I am now ready to look at?

There’s no perfect time to do that thing you want to do. What if you considered taking one step towards it now? The time will pass whether you do or don’t.

...and maybe most useful?

What have I discovered about myself this year?

Every year brings an opportunity for growth. What new hobby did you start? What forgotten part of you have you reconnected with? Spend some time pondering "what did I discover about myself?". Amidst the day to day things that you do, what have you discovered about you?

Now, take a moment, breathe. Notice what you’re feeling right now. Maybe you feel proud when you see how the year unfolded. Maybe you've found a gap that you'd like to address. Food for thought.

No matter what surfaced for you, you now have some information you didn’t have before. You get to decide whether you do something with it or not. Something for you to mull over in the coming days. That's the point - to get you thinking.

Wishing you a Happy New Year and Happy New Beginnings!

Warmly,
Ann

If you are looking for someone to help you get clarity on your “new beginning” Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

It’s tradition…before you move on to 2023…

Tis the season...

…to set boundaries!

Feeling stressed?

Not surprising at all. Look at your calendar! This is probably one of the most stressful times of the year. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or nothing at all…the end of the year can create a tremendous amount of pressure. Finishing up last minute preparations or, perhaps, completion of those end of year work goals.

Wrapping things up, literally and figuratively.

Remember "Goldilocks"? She knew when the porridge, the bed, and the chair were just right. Not too hot, too soft, not too...you get the picture…

Stress can be like that: Too much and your circuits can get overwhelmed; too little and you have no oomph to get things done.  What do you need? Just the right amount to give you the energy to show up as your best self, no matter what this busy time of year throws at you.

It's possible. 

There's definitely something about a little bit of healthy stress - that boost of adrenalin - that can make you feel motivated and energetic and ready to get that thing done.

But...how do you put in place some healthy boundaries to ensure that your circuits aren't getting overloaded? 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next COUPLE of weeks...

Here are some suggestions for managing your resources over the next couple of weeks. Resources can be many things: tangible things like money, or things like your time and energy.

• Tangible things:

  • Ask yourself: When January comes and it's time to "pay up" will I regret this decision to spend my money on this?

• Time:  
  

  • Ask yourself : Do I have the time to do this thing? Time is finite. We only get so much of it. If you're taking on something "extra", maybe ask yourself: What do I need to let go of in order to do this?

• Energy:

  • This is a tiring time of year. Extra requests are being made of you on top of your already busy schedule. In addition to time, your energy can take a hit. When you get asked to do that thing, ask yourself: Is this what I really want to spend my energy on?

• Selfcare:

  • Probably the most important element in managing over the next few weeks. Taking time each day to do something for yourself. A quick walk, a few minutes of breathing, throwing on a song you like and dancing. Having a chat with someone you love. Whatever works for you. And, a friendly reminder that, NO is a complete sentence.  You don't have to make excuses for taking care of yourself.

Ready to set some healthy boundaries? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

I'm going to take my own advice. Unless I am inspired to do so, there will be no blog next week.  I plan on managing my resources and spending my time and energy on the people and things I love.

If I haven't told you already - I'm so grateful that you take the time to read this blog.

Happy Holidays!

Stay safe and well.

Warmly,

Ann

Tis the season….to set boundaries…

Are you hitting the wall?

Now what?

If you've ever participated in any endurance sport like cycling or running, you know all about hitting the wall. Hitting the wall is a thing in real life too.  The difference?  Whether you run or cycle, as a trained athlete, you know that you have to be prepared so you don't "hit the wall".  That  preparation may include a proper plan that encompasses; training, nutrition and rest, to name a few things. This is important leading up to the event and, probably, most important, on the day of the event. Fuelling at just the right time, pacing yourself and listening to your body, which may mean walking for a minute here and there.

Seems to make sense, doesn't it?

But what usually happens in "real life" when someone's hitting a wall?  Sometimes, they're told to "push through" or worse, they tell themselves to do that. It may sound like: "I'll stop (fill in the blank here) once I/they, (fill in the blank)".  Or, maybe this is your rendition of it: "It's only for another three months, six months" etc. Muscling through and not paying attention to the signs until, well, wall.
 
What can you do?

Prevention is always best however, if it's too late for that, and you find that you're hitting a wall, read on...

As you approach the end of the year, so many things can pile up and lead to overwhelm and ultimately, hitting a wall of some sort.  Awareness is information, a chance to "call it", before it gets out of hand. When you're able to recognize the signs for yourself, you'll be able to put some tactics in place to manage.

Good athletes know their limits, they're able to recognize where their wall is and train accordingly to be able to cope when they see it coming. They have their toolkit ready to go.

For non-athletes?

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Before you hit a wall:

Develop a coping strategy. 

What do you know you need when you're feeling overwhelmed? Make a list before you're in the situation. It might mean taking an hour for yourself to regroup. 

If you find yourself at a point where you are hitting a wall, it's good to be able to recognize that it's happening and then:

Stop:

Recognize the signs and stop. Take a breath and ask yourself: What do I need now? 

An athlete may decide that they need some water or fuel or they need to walk for a few minutes.  What do you need?

Reassess:

After you figure out what you need and take steps to get it, check in. 

An athlete will decide their next steps. Maybe they change their pace or schedule a fuel break to prevent the wall from coming again. What can you incorporate in to your plan to prevent another wall coming at you?

Get a different perspective: 

An athlete may check in with their coach or trainer for some perspective. For you? Maybe it means having a conversation with your boss, your partner, best friend or someone else you trust.

Recalibrate:

Once you've taken the time to stop, assess and get a different perspective, where do you want to go now? Sometimes, the break is enough for you to see things more clearly.  You may notice that when you're rested and have a new perspective, there's a door that was always just over there, right beside the wall... 

Ready to be more intentional with your time and energy? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Warmly,

Ann

Are you hitting the wall?

Not feeling it? You're not alone...

How are you doing? No, really. How are you doing?

It's that time of year. The time when the pressure is starting to build. Invitations are starting to come for events that you haven't been to for a couple of years; year end goals coming to the finishing point, preparations for the holidays...basically doing stuff.  This, all while, the days are shorter and colder, and the motivation or desire to do something is dwindling.  

What can you do?

Maybe getting in touch with how you feel, what your priorities are, and how you want to show up, is exactly what you need. Especially when you're finding that you don't have the bandwidth for everything coming at you. Getting clear on what your needs are is going to set you up to make sure you're taking care of you, first. Not selfish by the way, rather, when you're clear on where you're coming from and taking care of you, you're more likely to bring out the best in others too.

The following five questions take only minutes to answer and are a great way to set you up for a more intentional day. One where you're establishing your baseline. Taking the few minutes for you WILL make a difference in how you show up...promise.

So - here they are - actually in order because it does make a difference. Do this first thing in the morning before you start your day.

1. I am (feeling)? Just notice without judgement. It’s information. Is it determined, sad, joyful, tired, happy etc.? Check in.

2. I want…? Let whatever pops into your head be the thing that you'll focus on for the day. It won't necessarily be a huge thing and, it probably came up for a reason.

3. I choose to…? This is an action step - you can’t get what you want without deciding that you'll do something. Something will usually bubble up that will support you in getting what you want.

4. I ask for…? For some, this could be a request to their God, guide, source or it could be an actual person that you want to ask something of.

5. I am grateful for….? There seems to be a lot of evidence that suggests gratitude is a way to live a happier life. Pick one thing. If you're having a difficult time, it could be the bed and pillow you have or the good cup of coffee you had yesterday. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. Oh yeah, and if more than one thing comes up feel free to write that down too!

If you feel like you're ready to pack it in for the winter and hibernate, try this out! It takes maybe 5 minutes maximum, usually much less, and, it really will make a difference in how you approach your day - with some focus and clarity.

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Try the above questions for at least seven days - before you get your day going - see what changes for you.
 

Feeling overwhelmed with the year end bustle? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Warmly,

Ann

Not feeling it? You’re not alone…

This may be a little late, but...

Maybe it's time to change it up?

You wouldn't put your flip flops on to go skiing. You probably aren't wearing your T-Shirt outside right now; and, some of you have switched out your regular tires for winter tires. 

This doesn't mean that the flipflops, t-shirt, or regular tires are faulty, it just means that maybe they aren't useful for the season you're in right now.   So why would you continue to utilize the same tools to solve different challenges?

It's pretty normal to fall back on tried and true tools; you probably have your "go to" tools, habitual ways of being and thinking.  Have you noticed that maybe those tools aren't working anymore? The thing about habitually approaching situations in the same way is that, eventually, you're going to narrow your options.  

When you only have one tool in your toolkit you're greatly reducing your choices. If all you have is a hammer, you're going to tend to start treating everything like a nail. Not practical or useful.

What tool(s) are you using that may not be useful for the season you're in? 

Maybe you need a new approach?

Let's get to it...

You're challenge for the next week...

Think about a situation you're facing right now. Before you start down your regular path to handle it, maybe consider the following suggestions:

• How would someone you respect approach this?

• How would someone who challenges you look at this situation?

• How would your best friend address this type of situation?

• Think of one other person, even a fictional one, and ask yourself how would they approach this situation?

Your old tools aren't going anywhere, you'll eventually be wearing your flipflops and t-shirt again, just not now. For now, what if you try something new out? You may be pleasantly surprised! 

Is it time to restock your toolkit? Contact me  You have all of the skills, strengths and capabilities you need. Let’s work together and reconnect you with them!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

This may be a little late, but…