Can I tell you a secret?

Can I tell you a secret? I was stuck...really stuck.

I was struggling with my own goals this year until I came to a realization...there's some advice I could be taking...

Ever feel that way? You know what you "should" be doing and yet...you're not. Ugh.

What did I do? I started practicing what I preach, looking at what I put out in my blogs, reading my own book* and taking my own advice because...you know what they say "Do as I say...not as I do!" Guilty as charged.

And that's when everything changed. I moved from not really knowing what I wanted, not being specific enough, to being able to visualize it as clearly as I needed to, to make it a reality.

What was in my way?

I made the same mistakes that a lot of people make, thinking I had to have everything figured out, every detail, and that the right time was just gonna pop-up...all of this is untrue.

I was forcing things rather than letting them come to me.

This goal feels different so I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to have it all figured out...hence the struggle. You'd think I'd know better!

So what changed?

• I let go of expectations and surrendered. Put it on the back burner.

• Kept my intention but had no plan.

Then the first step showed up. Clarity. Hallelujah! I took some action. Executed the first step.

That's where I am right now...

Figuring out what I want, not overthinking it...allowing one step to come and taking it. Keeping my intention in mind and knowing that I will achieve it, one step at a time.

Why am I telling you this? I get you. We're all human and things don't always come easily...

How are you doing right now? Are you feeling stuck or struggling? Looking for some clarity? You're not alone.

What if you put it on the back burner for a little while? Go do other things and just allow an idea to come, it can be the tiniest thing. Don't overcomplicate it...take action and expect more to come.

What I've learned is that when I take a step back and let something go and focus on other things...that's when the idea pops. Letting go of any expectations and allowing the inspiration to come when the time feels right.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Let go of that thing that you're grasping onto and to allow yourself to walk away from it for a while. Take a breather but hold onto your intention.

Remember:

• The "right" time doesn't exist.

  • You'll always find an excuse...start before you feel ready.

• Your plan doesn't need to have every step outlined.

  • Focus less on having all the steps worked out and take the first one...the others will follow.

• Get some help.

  • Read a book*...hire a coach.

  • You don’t have to navigate things alone.

Gripping onto something and forcing rarely works. Stepping away and taking a breather almost always does. Give it a try...

Looking for some clarity?  Contact me Confident people know that two heads are always better than one.

Cheers,

Ann

• “You’re Stuck…Now What?” available on Amazon

Can I tell you a secret?

I don't usually do this ...

But I'm on a roll...

Really exploring this whole January thing.

• Setting goals.

• Or the idea that if you don't have a goal...there's something wrong with you.

• If you do have a goal...where's the influence coming from for that goal? Inside you? Outside pressure or opinions?

• What's motivating you to set that goal?

Whether you have a goal, an intention, or nothing at all...here are some tips to increase your odds of success.

• Make sure that it's something you want.

  • Sounds obvious and a couple of sneaky things can happen here:

    • You're doing it for someone else. They want you to be fit, change a behaviour, or get a new job.

    • Or, very common...setting a goal that has you running away from something rather than towards something.

    • Frame your goals to point towards what you want, not what you want to avoid.

    • Oh...and be specific. You should be able to picture it in great detail and know how it will feel too.  

• Believe it's possible.
  

  • Remember Henry Ford? "Whether you think you can or think you can't...you're right."

  • Believe that it's possible. That in and of itself will up the chances of you achieving it...instantly…because your brain will naturally start to look for opportunities to make it happen...it's built that way.

• Consider the "costs" of your goal.

  • This part of goal setting often gets missed, understanding what pursuing that goal is going to "cost" you.

    • Time. 

      • How much time will pursuing that goal take away from other things that you want to do?

    • Energy.

      • Energy is similar to time...learning new skills is going to consume more of your brain power and leave less for other things.

    • Tangible costs.

      • Maybe you're paying for a course, buying equipment or paying a membership.

    • Willpower.

      • Willpower...is a limited resource.  When you're focusing on doing something new you'll have less willpower to do other things...it's a trade off.

Once you've considered all of this then...

•  Make a plan.

  • Take a path when it makes sense. Following in the footsteps of someone who has done what you want to do can be really helpful. Why reinvent the wheel?

  • And... know when to step off and make your own path. 

  • Understand that you are unique and your version of that goal is going to have your fingerprint on it.  Resist the very human urge to compare yourself, your progression, to someone else.  They're not you!!

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
Pick one goal or intention you’ve been considering and give it a test drive. 

• Is it something you want?

• Is it specific enough?

• Do you believe it's possible?

• Is it worth the costs?

If you can tick those boxes then go ahead...make a plan and take that first step.

Need some help?

If you're ready to show up in 2025 as your most powerful self, it's time for us to talk  Contact me

Cheers,

Ann

I don’t usually do this…

Ready for a different spin on goals?

Happy New Year! 

It's early days. Before you finalize your goals here's some perspective for you to frame them with.

It's important to have tangible goals or what I prefer, "intentions" ...they can provide purpose and meaning for you...and...there are some "intangible" things that also matter. They're more a way of approaching your world, a way of being in this incredibly "doing/busy" world we live in.

Here are some thoughts for you to ponder...

What if you:

• Be the first to smile.

• Say hello.

• Hold the door.

• Talk less. Listen more.

• Instead of making assumptions...be more understanding. 

• Rather than taking things personally...know that it's not about you.

• Instead of criticizing the faults, look for the good. 

• Instead of running away from what you don't want, find something you want and run towards it. 

• Believe in your dreams. It starts with you.

• Take action...send the text, make the call.... Hesitation and overthinking lead to regret.

• Put a date in the calendar..."sometime" doesn't exist.

• Listen to other people's input, then make your own decision. 

• Recognize that the most important job you have is to take care of you...take it seriously. 

• Move beyond thinking about it. That's where it starts...and thinking about it doesn't get it done.

• Recognize that you're making choices all of the time. Even if you do nothing.

• Go after that vision you have for yourself. There are always going to be plenty of naysayers who don't see your vision. Don't you be one of them!

Decide how you want to show up, regardless of the "goal"...how do you want to be?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...
 
As you firm up your goals and intentions, take a look at the list above. Notice which ones resonate for you and perhaps add a few of your own. Let this inform your goals for 2025.

Decide how you want to show up, regardless of the "goal"...how do you want to be?

If you're ready to show up in 2025 as your most powerful self, it's time for us to talk  Contact me

Cheers,

Ann

Ready for a different spin on goals?

Before you get ahead of yourself...do this!

Whoa! 

The ending of a year with a bright and shiny new one on the horizon can be tantalizing for sure, but before you get ahead of yourself...

Here are a few suggestions...

Use the past as a reference point:

The past can definitely be a good reference point, however, if you're reliving the past all the time, especially those moments where maybe you're thinking someone did you wrong or, you didn't get what you wanted or, any other version of this…here's what you're doing:

• You're sabotaging your happiness! Work with a therapist or a coach (depending on what you need to work on). Do something!

• You can't change the past...however, you can change the meaning you've attached to it!  By reframing the meaning you attach to situations or people, you will see things change for you...in a good way.

Let the future inspire you:

• It's great to have a beacon out there that you're aiming for. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and  by getting caught up in what's ahead, you're missing what's going on right now...the only thing that exists.

Ask yourself, all things considered:

• How do you want to move forward into 2025?

Need some help? Here’s a part of my “year end” process to get you more clear.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next couple of days…

Take some time to explore these questions …you're definitely going to want to grab a piece of paper and something to write with...

• What am I ready to leave behind?

  • What better time than the end of a year to ask yourself this question? You carry so many things with you year over year, maybe it's time to leave behind the things that are keeping you stuck, or holding you back. Perhaps it's a relationship you've outgrown, a habit or feeling that you’re done with, an attitude, or even a tangible "thing"?

• What do I want to keep?

  • While setting new goals is always exciting, it's important to remember some of the stuff that you already have that's pretty great. Stuff you want to keep. Relationships, health, friendships, work, useful practices that you do etc.

• What do I want to add or have more of in 2025?

  • While "adding" always sounds good, you may already have some things in your life that you just want more of - family and friend time, me time...you get the idea here.

• What have I put on hold?

  • There’s no perfect time to do that thing you want to do. What if you considered taking one step towards it now?The time's going to pass anyway.

• What have I discovered about myself this year?

  • Every year brings an opportunity for growth.

  • Spend some time pondering "what did I discover about myself"?
    
    

Now take a moment. Breathe. Notice what you're feeling right now. Maybe you feel proud when you see how the year unfolded. Maybe you've found a gap that you'd like to address. There's no right or wrong here.

No matter what surfaced for you, you now have some information you didn’t have before. You get to decide whether you do something with it or not. Something for you to mull over in the coming days. That's the point - to get you thinking.

Sending warmest wishes to you for 2025.

Ann

Before you get ahead of yourself…do this!

Are you a stinking thinker?

Probably sometimes.

Stinking thinking is when you let the voices in your head take over and tell you lies, or maybe things that were once true, but certainly aren't now. Not a formal definition but you get the picture. Those voices are often driven by shame, embarrassment or the stories that you've told yourself for so long that they feel like the truth. All stuff that we typically keep to ourselves and that's the problem...keeping it to yourself.

These are the very things that isolate you, make you think that "you're the only one" which isn't true at all.That's what shame, embarrassment and lies do...they keep you quiet. They can erode your sense of worthiness, whether it's the promotion you want, the relationship, the lifestyle...all of those things.

Because of our propensity to lean towards the negative, those voices can drown out all of the other truths that exist that are empowering and affirming.

It took me years, and I mean years, to finally grab the bull by the horns and sort my own shit out. Do I wish I'd done it sooner? Maybe, but I believe everything happens at exactly the right time.

Is now the right time for you?

A lot of my clients are stinking thinkers too. I see you. The thing is...once you give your stinking thinking  a voice, you'll be able to hear that it's a liar.  Perspective. The things you've been telling yourself are what keep you small. They hold you hostage.

Is 2025 the year to call them out?

I see you hanging out, thinking about reaching out and waiting. I get it. Like I said...it took me years to feel safe enough to find someone to work on my shit with. I get you. What I also learned is that waiting robs you of your potential and I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. You have all the skills, strengths and capabilities you need to be doing the things you want to do. That's a given.

The problem?

Probably 98% of the time, the problem is, the story you've telling yourself has become the truth for you and you can't see your potential. Chances are good that these stories have lead you to believe that "this is as good as it gets". It's not. There are other possibilities for you. I promise you. You may not be able to see your potential...but I can.

We're very close to the end of  2024. As you reflect on this year, which is a really good thing to do, I want you to notice:

• How are you holding yourself back?

• What behaviours are you doing, or not doing, that are stopping you from achieving the things you want to achieve?

• Be brutally honest with yourself.

I want you to know I'm here and waiting for you with an open heart. Yeah, I can be provocative and feisty and I'm also really compassionate and kind...always keeping your best interests at heart. I don't want you to miss out on all the possibilities there are for you because you're still believing that story.

As I close off for the year, I want to take a moment now to acknowledge you. Many of you have been reading this blog for years. Thank you for being here for the ride.

I invite you to reach out. Yeah, let's chat. It's been a minute. I'd love to hear from you.

Wishing you all the best as you celebrate Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, or simply enjoy the love and joy of this time of year. 


Warmly,
Ann

Are you a ‘stinking thinker’? Probably sometimes…

How can we be here already?

How can we be here already? It's unbelievable that we're a couple weeks away from finishing yet another year.

There's a pretty good chance that you're getting bombarded everywhere you turn. About what? Your achievements. Whether you made the mark you set for yourself or often, the mark that was set for you. 

The messaging is loud and clear...if you're not doing this, or haven't done that, then what the heck are you doing?

It's tiring and it comes at the time of year where comparison is at an all time high. People are going to start sharing all the amazing things they did this year. And quite frankly, if all you did was get through this year and you're still on this planet, congratulations, that might be just enough for you.

It's been a year. That really sums it up for me. With some incredible lows, and some incredible highs... life.

I'm a firm believer in reflection. Personal reflection, not personal comparison, which is completely counterproductive. On the day of reckoning there's not going to be a list of people that they're going to pull up and compare you to, nope, it's all about you. You are your benchmark.

What kind of year did you have? What are you hoping to get done in the next couple weeks that feels important to you? Personally...not what other people think you should do, rather something you sincerely want. That stuff.

It could mean you want some solitude.  A chance to read that trashy novel that you never make time for, a nice dinner with a good friend. Things that don't always make it to the priority list when really, they probably should make an appearance there. The things that truly matter in the long run.

This can be a really tough time of year. Please be gentle with yourself. Finish off the year as best you can. And if that means you're hitting a home run congratulations. If that means you're gonna hang out in your pajamas and just be glad to be around, congratulations to you too. There are no rules.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here's a suggestion for you...

For the duration of the holidays - How about you put all of your "to do's' on the back burner? They'll be there waiting for you.

Set a boundary. Do something different. Open up your perspective. It's only for a brief time. Let this be your gift to you.

The interesting thing is that when you go to retrieve your "to do's" you may notice that they've shifted. Perhaps some are less important or maybe not important at all. You may notice that new ones,  more meaningful ones, have taken their place.  Time can do that.

Will you do it?  Come on...I dare you!

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Cheers,

Ann

How can we be here already?

Do you take your own advice?

Do you take your own advice? Hmmm...

Maybe you do...maybe you don't.

Believe it or not, every now and then, probably not as often as I should...I do take my own advice*. It might be because sometimes I'll be in a circumstance and someone close to me will say "Maybe you should read your own material."

Ouch, and it's so true. What's that saying..."Do as I say...not as I do"...ugh. Being human over here! 

Recently, I was in new circumstance and it had me in awe of the courage of my clients. It's scary to be taking on something new, to be a beginner again

It's not necessarily like being a kid when it was exciting to try new things. 

Doing something new now? It can be full of trepidation and fear, even if it seems simple and pretty benign. Those human reactions will come up every single time.

So here's what I did without giving you all the details of the situation, which, in and of itself, was pretty benign. It was the whole idea of stepping into something on my own, with no reference point, that felt really intimidating...and I decided to do it anyway. It felt awkward being in surroundings that were unfamiliar, being completely overwhelmed by all of the "foreignness" of the situation.

But here's what happened. I took my own advice and...

I asked for help.

Not surprisingly...people are really willing to give it and, asking for the first piece of assistance got me on my way. Then, as bumps occurred, because they did, I would stop and remind myself that I've done new things before. I've done things that felt foreign before. I can do this, and step-by-step...I accomplished what I set out to do. Go figure.

We are creatures of habit and routine. That's normal, and what this situation reminded me of is the fact that even the littlest things can help us to practice using the muscle of newness. Allowing us to prove to ourselves that we can do new and challenging things.

So here's my question for you.

When's the last time you did something for the first time?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here's my challenge for you over the next little while. Due to the time of year, this may afford you the opportunity to do something new.

It doesn't have to be a big thing...in fact practicing on the small stuff will still build that muscle.

• It could be trying a different food.

• Saying yes to an engagement that you normally wouldn't.

• Watching something you haven't given a chance to, or reading new material.

The little things that might put you on the edge of your comfort zone. Those things.

Maybe for you, it's more than that. Maybe there's something you've been thinking about for a while, and you've been waiting for the nudge to give it a try...here's your nudge...

I can't tell you the rush I got by figuring this thing out and getting home and realizing, well, yeah, I can do new things...and so can you!

I’ll ask you again…”When's the last time you did something for the first time?”

Want some help along the way? Contact me I get it!

Cheers,

Ann

*As a coach I don't give advice however, I sort of do in my books:

• "The Wisdom of the Sticky Note" Edition 2.0

  •  https://tinyurl.com/TheWisdomoftheStickyNote

• "You're Stuck ...Now what?”

  •  https://tinyurl.com/YoureStuckNowWhat

• "The Confidence Recipe"

  • http://tinyurl.com/5n6m7uf6

And my videos...
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ann_the_coach

Do you take your own advice?

Waiting for something to happen?

Have you ever considered that while you're waiting for something to happen...something's happening?

It's so easy to get caught up in what you're hoping for, or what your future plans are, that you can miss what's happening right in the moment. What if you paid attention to that?

This is a common phenomena that I see with clients. Constantly looking down the road for that next thing and entirely missing what's going on right in front of them. Often it's the opportunities that are right there in the current situation that they're in. Hidden in plain sight.

It's about paying attention. 

What's actually going on where you are right now? 

• Noticing this definitely has the power to impact the "down the road thing" that you're thinking about.

• Getting caught up in a specific thing that's "out there" can cause you to lose sight of the other possibilities that are right here.

What can you do?

It's easy to live in the future especially if you're not satisfied with where you are now and...if you've already "checked out", you're definitely going to miss some useful information. 

What kind of information?

• The kind of information that becomes available to you when you consider the parts of what you're doing now that bring you fulfillment. When you're looking over at the greener grass, you will filter out the good in your current situation. It's what we do.

• When you take the time to appreciate the good things in your current situation you can  bring this information forward with you. 

It's about having the wherewithal to actually pay attention and be present in your current situation. I get it... if you're not satisfied and you want something to change, it's easy to jump ahead, and it's in that jumping ahead that you're missing the nuggets of wisdom. They're there for you to gather and take with you.

By all means, plan for that move ahead. It's good to want more for yourself. But...don't jump ahead and lose the lessons. That's a big miss.

What are you missing?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

For this week, how about you do some data mining? 

• Take stock of where you're at right now.

  • Remember...you're biased to look for what's not good.

  • Make a point to notice the information you're disregarding. This may feel like a mining expedition if you've only been focusing of the "bad stuff".

  • Get a little more curious about that and ask yourself "Where could this be useful for me down the road?"

Once you review your insights ask yourself:

• Is now the time to be running, or is now the time to be gathering?

• What if I noticed what's happening now while I'm waiting for something to happen?

There's no one and done answer. Just food for thought.

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..." John Lennon
Truth.

If you're looking for perspective  Contact me I'm really good at what I do.

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Cheers,

Ann

Waiting for something to happen?

Nothing changes...

"They" say that nothing changes, if nothing changes...

This is mostly true. If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll probably get what you've always gotten. Taking into consideration that the world is going to change too and that will influence things ...but mostly you're in charge.

You have far more control over how things go than you think.

Are you continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result? It sounds ludicrous when you say it out loud.

Of course, your world is going to change...people are going to come and go, careers are going to change, relationships... all of this and more.

What are you expecting to change that hasn't changed?

If you look at your life right now, exactly as it is, ask yourself "What are the consistent behaviours and habits I've been doing up until now that have led me here?"

After reflecting on this...answer the question:  "If I continue to do what I'm doing now, am I going to be happy with how things are a few years from now?"

Let the answers bubble up, or it may require that you give it some more thought. Go for a walk. Journal. Take some time to deeply explore the idea that if you continue on the path you're on, are you going to be satisfied three years down the road?

I recently asked myself this question and surprisingly, the answer was yes, in three years with a few little tweaks I will be satisfied if I continue down the path I'm on.

It surprised me because a few years ago when I asked myself that question, I had a very different response. A response that led me to do some deep work. Asking myself some very uncomfortable questions and then, taking action to change what the next few years would look like.

Uncomfortable, necessary and, ultimately...worth it.


How about you? When you ask yourself that question, what's the answer? Happy with the trajectory you're on?

If you're not satisfied, or you look forward and think "Oh sh*t" ...then now's the time to start making small changes.

Small. They don't have to be big changes. It's more about the small things you do daily. These tweaks will change your life exponentially over time. Similar to how you got to where you are now…it took years of doing or, not doing things to end up where you are now.

Whether it's your health, your career, your relationships...any of those things. They are an accumulation over time of the choices you've made or didn’t make, mostly small and they have a sneaky way of catching up with you. 

Making a change requires a mindset shift. If your head goes to "it's always been this way, it'll always be this way" - these are classic mindset traits that are keeping you stuck where you are.

That's where it starts, making a conscious choice to say that you want things to be different down the road.

Now what?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Nothing changes overnight. Things change over time...and you've got time.

For this week and as we head into the classic time of change, the "New Year", start to think of one little thing, one area of your life where you would like to see a change.

Is it your career? Your physical health? Your relationships? Pick one you'd like to envision being different a few years down the road. 

• Start to explore.

  • What's one little thing you're doing right now that if you tweak it slightly, things will look different for you in three years?

Don't overcomplicate it.

• For example: Let's take your physical health.
  

  • It could mean looking at how you start your day and deciding that you're going to get up 10 minutes earlier and stretch. What would your life look like in three years if you did this one little thing?

What would be different?

Doing something bit by bit...that's sustainable.That's how you change that thing that you've decided you want to change. One small step at a time.

If you need help shifting that mindset of yours Contact me  I may not have the answers but I do have questions for you that may help direct you to where you need to go. 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Cheers,

Ann

Nothing changes…if nothing changes.

What are you anticipating?

Careful...you just might get it!

Self fulfilling prophecy. I think that's what they call it...the idea that what you anticipate becomes your reality.

It's true.

How often do you head into a situation with your hands clenched and your jaw tight, with the anticipation that it's going to be difficult or challenging and then walk away and think...yep...that's exactly how it went. I knew it would. Yes you did. You're not surprised at all. Whether you like it or not, you decided up front that the situation was going to be difficult, and so you went into that situation in that state.

What do I mean by state?

Essentially, your state is your behaviour, emotions and thoughts at any given time. Some may compare it to your mood, but state covers pretty much everything. When you head into a situation anticipating that it's going to be difficult, consciously or not, you're going to go in with that posture, those emotions, those feelings and thoughts. So it's really no surprise that it goes exactly as you predicted.

What you anticipate creates how you show up. Your state.

Think about a time something felt difficult. A real memory. It could've been getting your kid out the door to school this morning, navigating a traffic snarl, deciding on which invitation to accept. Whatever it was, notice: What was going through your mind? How were you feeling? What were you doing? Pay attention. This is an example of your state when things are difficult for you. 

Now, think about heading into a situation where things don't typically go smoothly. Maybe it's a negotiation, a meeting with a group in your organization, or a phone call you have to make. You get into that same old mindset...this isn't going to work out, this is going to be a battle and...lo and behold, once again, it is.

This isn't chance. This is you deciding before you even get started that thing's aren’t going to go well. Of course, you're not necessarily thinking that consciously, but when you decide or think that something's going to be difficult, somehow, it is.

What if you anticipated another outcome?

You might be surprised that this can also be true, that by choosing a different way to show up, you'll influence the outcome. Not only the outcome, but the process of getting there. What if the process didn't have to be difficult? What if the process was engaging? What would be different?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

What's coming up for you this week where shifting your mindset would change the outcome...for the better?

Check in now. It could be any situation where you routinely cringe before it and walk away with the "I knew it would go poorly" sentiment. That thing.

Ask yourself:

• How would I rather it went?

  • Replace the word that you typically anticipate with something more useful.

  • For example: Rather than a battle, what if it's an adventure?

• What state would be useful to support this outcome?
  

  • If you want it to be an adventure, how do you need to show up? 

Your state is...

• Your thoughts.

  • How would you have to be thinking for it to be an adventure?

• Your emotions.

  • How would you be feeling? Excited, curious...

• Your behaviour.

  • How would your thoughts and emotions come through in your behaviour?

How would the "typical" outcome change?

Try it.

Your mindset determines so much. Shifting one little word… can change the trajectory of the encounter.

If you want to work on shifting your mindset. Contact me  Wouldn't it be great to get an outcome you'd rather have?


Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Cheers,

Ann

What are you anticipating?